attack_laurel (attack_laurel) wrote,
attack_laurel
attack_laurel

We are the walking infected


Okay, okay, I don't normally post on politics for the simple reason that, being officially Not Able To Vote[tm], I am sticking my fingers in my ears and singing "lalalalalalalaLALALALALALALALA" until November 6th, but this was rather funny.

Apparently, some absentee ballots in NY went out with a misspelling of the Democratic Candidate's name, and the misspelling was "Osama". A little giggling at obvious stupidity, whether it was an accident, or an "accident" ifyernowotimean, yes? The commentary on the story is the usual mix (and reasonably free of trolls), until this little gem caught my eye:

"THAT IS BARACK'S NAME. BARACK OBAMA OSAMA!!! THERE IS NOTHING MISSPELLED. BARAC'S TRUE LAST NAME IS OSAMA, AS HIS DAD IS A MUSLIM AND THE MUSLIM RELIGION IS CARRIED BY THE FATHER'S SIDE.[sic]"

"Carried"? I never knew religion was genetic. Is it a virus? A genetic mutation ? Something else?

(I'm betting a prion. Those suckers are impossible to kill.)

On the other hand, maybe we were already aware of this.  Judaism is "carried" on the mother's side; clearly, even before the advent of modern medicine, people were crudely aware of the importance of the X chromosome in Judaism.  Since men have both an X and a Y chromosome, the Judaism virus has spread far and wide, like the Catholic virus (though the Vaticanus Type I and Type II virii have an advantage, as both variations clearly induce a strong urge to reproduce).

Certainly, many cultures throughout history have regarded Jews as a separate race of people, regardless of their national origin (or religion, in the case of converts). 

Perhaps "the muslim religion" is a similar condition, but it lives on the Y chromosome.  

But I am fascinated at this idea of religion as something innate (or, as in Judaism, ennate, ha, ha).  I am a converted Catholic, but you could argue that my high Anglican roots made the odds of conversion much higher.  In essence, I carried the latent Catholic virus (kind of like mono or shingles), and the smell of incense activated it, and I got full-blown Vaticanus-II (the V-I variant started decreasing in 1962, and was completely gone by 1965).

I wonder if any religions are air-borne viruses.  Baptism seems to have more and more converts every day - it's either air-borne or transferred by body fluids.  Also, as there seem to be as many different Baptist sects and churches as there are Baptists, the Bap-F virus must be like the 'flu, constantly mutating.

Whereas Anglicanum, particularly the High Church variant of my youth, seems to be more and more rare these days - it's more like smallpox.  We've eradicated most of it, and all anyone gets anymore is a "Protestant" form of Anglicanum (Anglicanum-Folkmusicus) that isn't nearly as life-threatening, like measles.

As for the most intense, or fundamental variant of any form, I'm guessing those people were born with no natural immunity at all.  Unlike most of us, who have varying degrees of immunity to the Religion family of viruses, these people have their entire lives controlled by the various viruses, and often end up dying early (by accident or design). 

(Or stuck at a computer, writing idiotic screeds with no basis in reality, perpetually unable to find and disengage the caps-lock key.  The horror.)

On the other end of the immunity spectrum, those who are completely immune appear to have developed antibodies to the various virii (Atheism perpetuosis).  Like people who never ever get sick, they're frequently regarded with thinly-veiled hostility, and are shunned when the rest of us need a little time on the sofa with a hot cup of tea and a box of Kleenex.  It appears that the antibodies cannot be synthesized, but they can be passed on, often in a slightly weakened form (Agnostica wibbily-wobbily um type III).

But I'll have to remember that "The Muslim Religion" (also known by its clinical name, Islam) is carried on the father's side.  The information might come in handy some day.

*eye*roll*


 
Tags: humour, politics
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 35 comments
Previous
← Ctrl ← Alt
Next
Ctrl → Alt →
Previous
← Ctrl ← Alt
Next
Ctrl → Alt →