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We are the walking infected


Okay, okay, I don't normally post on politics for the simple reason that, being officially Not Able To Vote[tm], I am sticking my fingers in my ears and singing "lalalalalalalaLALALALALALALALA" until November 6th, but this was rather funny.

Apparently, some absentee ballots in NY went out with a misspelling of the Democratic Candidate's name, and the misspelling was "Osama". A little giggling at obvious stupidity, whether it was an accident, or an "accident" ifyernowotimean, yes? The commentary on the story is the usual mix (and reasonably free of trolls), until this little gem caught my eye:

"THAT IS BARACK'S NAME. BARACK OBAMA OSAMA!!! THERE IS NOTHING MISSPELLED. BARAC'S TRUE LAST NAME IS OSAMA, AS HIS DAD IS A MUSLIM AND THE MUSLIM RELIGION IS CARRIED BY THE FATHER'S SIDE.[sic]"

"Carried"? I never knew religion was genetic. Is it a virus? A genetic mutation ? Something else?

(I'm betting a prion. Those suckers are impossible to kill.)

On the other hand, maybe we were already aware of this.  Judaism is "carried" on the mother's side; clearly, even before the advent of modern medicine, people were crudely aware of the importance of the X chromosome in Judaism.  Since men have both an X and a Y chromosome, the Judaism virus has spread far and wide, like the Catholic virus (though the Vaticanus Type I and Type II virii have an advantage, as both variations clearly induce a strong urge to reproduce).

Certainly, many cultures throughout history have regarded Jews as a separate race of people, regardless of their national origin (or religion, in the case of converts). 

Perhaps "the muslim religion" is a similar condition, but it lives on the Y chromosome.  

But I am fascinated at this idea of religion as something innate (or, as in Judaism, ennate, ha, ha).  I am a converted Catholic, but you could argue that my high Anglican roots made the odds of conversion much higher.  In essence, I carried the latent Catholic virus (kind of like mono or shingles), and the smell of incense activated it, and I got full-blown Vaticanus-II (the V-I variant started decreasing in 1962, and was completely gone by 1965).

I wonder if any religions are air-borne viruses.  Baptism seems to have more and more converts every day - it's either air-borne or transferred by body fluids.  Also, as there seem to be as many different Baptist sects and churches as there are Baptists, the Bap-F virus must be like the 'flu, constantly mutating.

Whereas Anglicanum, particularly the High Church variant of my youth, seems to be more and more rare these days - it's more like smallpox.  We've eradicated most of it, and all anyone gets anymore is a "Protestant" form of Anglicanum (Anglicanum-Folkmusicus) that isn't nearly as life-threatening, like measles.

As for the most intense, or fundamental variant of any form, I'm guessing those people were born with no natural immunity at all.  Unlike most of us, who have varying degrees of immunity to the Religion family of viruses, these people have their entire lives controlled by the various viruses, and often end up dying early (by accident or design). 

(Or stuck at a computer, writing idiotic screeds with no basis in reality, perpetually unable to find and disengage the caps-lock key.  The horror.)

On the other end of the immunity spectrum, those who are completely immune appear to have developed antibodies to the various virii (Atheism perpetuosis).  Like people who never ever get sick, they're frequently regarded with thinly-veiled hostility, and are shunned when the rest of us need a little time on the sofa with a hot cup of tea and a box of Kleenex.  It appears that the antibodies cannot be synthesized, but they can be passed on, often in a slightly weakened form (Agnostica wibbily-wobbily um type III).

But I'll have to remember that "The Muslim Religion" (also known by its clinical name, Islam) is carried on the father's side.  The information might come in handy some day.

*eye*roll*


 

Comments

( 35 brains — Leave a chunk of brain! )
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reasdream
Oct. 20th, 2008 03:13 pm (UTC)
As a cradle Epsicopalian (of the ECUSA), and one who is not high church, does that mean I have Anglicanum-Folkmusicus or some other variant? (Anglicanum-Episcopopuli?)

Also? people are id10ts. *sigh* (thanks for the post tho, brightened my monday morning)
attack_laurel
Oct. 20th, 2008 03:27 pm (UTC)
You have the latter one, also known as Americanus-NolongerworshiptheQueenus. :)
(no subject) - reasdream - Oct. 20th, 2008 03:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tattycat - Oct. 20th, 2008 04:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
mermadn
Oct. 21st, 2008 12:08 am (UTC)
Obama is half white and half black so the assorted bigots should just focus solely on whichever half they do like and all will be well!
maricelt
Oct. 20th, 2008 03:26 pm (UTC)
LOL. Thanks, I needed that. ::hugs::
akgnome
Oct. 20th, 2008 03:28 pm (UTC)
*snort* good thing i was done drinking my tea.
gianetta
Oct. 20th, 2008 03:31 pm (UTC)
Colin Powell got it right:

Mr. Obama is a lifelong Christian, not a Muslim, he said. But, he added, “The really right answer is, what if he is?”

“Is there something wrong with being Muslim in this country? No, that’s not America,” he said.

http://current.com/items/89425505_colin_powell_so_what_if_obama_actually_was_a_muslim
chargirlgenius
Oct. 20th, 2008 03:43 pm (UTC)
Good for him! I've been wishing that Obama would say "so what if I was?"
(no subject) - snailstichr - Oct. 20th, 2008 03:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - valkyr8 - Oct. 20th, 2008 08:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - amycat1959 - Oct. 21st, 2008 05:12 am (UTC) - Expand
thorsbaby
Oct. 20th, 2008 03:37 pm (UTC)
So let me get this straight.
A mother with the Judaism virus, and a father with the Muslim virus have a child...

Is the child's name Buddah?

-Thosron (Some Jarl from the East)
Mind if I friend you? You write very well!
attack_laurel
Oct. 20th, 2008 03:50 pm (UTC)
As it says in my profile, feel free to friend. :) Most of my stuff is public, but it give me a warm squishy feeling when people friend me because they like my writing. :)
(Deleted comment)
attack_laurel
Oct. 20th, 2008 03:50 pm (UTC)
Ah! Ah! The stupid! Get it off me! *brush*brush*brush*

:)
blaze2242
Oct. 20th, 2008 03:48 pm (UTC)
win :-D
jillwheezul
Oct. 20th, 2008 03:56 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I pretty much think Mormonosis is air born, spread by young missionaries.
perilousknits
Oct. 20th, 2008 08:09 pm (UTC)
"Yeah, I pretty much think Mormonosis is air born, spread by young missionaries."

But it is the only known virus that can be contracted after death.
(no subject) - jillwheezul - Oct. 20th, 2008 08:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - attack_laurel - Oct. 21st, 2008 09:50 am (UTC) - Expand
hsifeng
Oct. 20th, 2008 03:56 pm (UTC)
"the V-I variant started decreasing in 1962, and was completely gone by 1965"

*shhhhh!*

Don't say anything to Mel! http://www.adl.org/Interfaith/gibson_ii.asp

Perhaps he is like that petri dish of anthrax that the government keeps around, 'just in case'....?
attack_laurel
Oct. 20th, 2008 04:07 pm (UTC)
If only they would keep him in a deep freeze...
(no subject) - hsifeng - Oct. 20th, 2008 05:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - xntryk - Nov. 1st, 2008 09:52 am (UTC) - Expand
gargoyal3
Oct. 20th, 2008 05:17 pm (UTC)
hee, that was awesome.

You forgot imsoliberalifellofftheleft butstillwannagotochurchium, mostly known as Unitarians :), though my mother also took me on a tour of other similar churches (Unity, Community, etc)

I have for many years claimed that if it's genetic, then I'm JewaCathamolic, with some Protestant of an unknown genus from Scandinavia someplace in my history, grin.
malvoisine
Oct. 20th, 2008 06:26 pm (UTC)
There is a homosexual comedian who is a priest of some flavor (I can't remember which religion). He has a hysterical rant on how the Catholic church is responsible for how widespread homosexuality is today...if you believe, as many do, that homosexuality is a set-in genetic thing in your brain when you are born, then the Catholic church, by forcing homosexuals to marry and procreate, is responsible for the numbers of homosexuals we have today! If the Catholic church had just left the homosexuals alone and let them fornicate amongst themselves, they would have died out naturally (this is all tongue in cheek, of course, but he had me screaming with laughter the first time I read it.) So, hmm, I'll have to figure out what the recessive genes are in my family. My mom was raised what we call 'foot-washin' Baptist out in the country and my Dad's mother was Episcopal. We were submarine Presbyterians most of my childhood (only surfaced twice a year - Easter & Christmas)...now I'm just a Confusedatarian....you know the type - I see people all dressed up at Denny's on Sundays and vaguely want to be part of their club, but not enough to actually get up, get dressed and _go_ to church on Sunday.
reasie
Oct. 20th, 2008 06:42 pm (UTC)
Made of win!

Neener neener! I'm imune! la la laaaa!
(of course it helps one to be inoculated at an early age.)
grian_ruadh
Oct. 20th, 2008 07:24 pm (UTC)
Actually, having been dosed with the fundamental variant growing up, I can tell you that it's one of those strains that either kills you or results in permanent immunity once the fever breaks. Sort of like really mean and ugly chicken pox. It can certainly leave scars. Thank goodness I survived it! I'll never have to go through THAT again! ;D
attack_laurel
Oct. 20th, 2008 07:59 pm (UTC)
Fundaments
"these people have their entire lives controlled by the various viruses, and often end up dying early (by...design)"

That doesn't seem very intelligent.

YerBob
Freelance Bishop
valkyr8
Oct. 20th, 2008 08:11 pm (UTC)
Awesome!
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