attack_laurel (attack_laurel) wrote,

Gas stations and scars and memes - oh, no, not again.

I am suddenly in charge of a massive (1,000 objects) QC project, so I'm going to be super busy for the next two weeks, as that's my timeline for completion. The third week I'm going to be down at the farm, so October is not going to be a great month for LJ entries.

("But Laura", I hear you ask, "What about posting from home? Surely you can do that". Dial up, suckers. It's so slow I can barely think, let alone post witty and delightful posts with many pictures.)

So, here's a meme I stole and modified massively: 

50 25 Things Meme

(I know, I know. Better known as the "I can't think of anything interesting to write today, so you get a series of random questions with one word answers that everyone skips over" meme. Sue me, I'm busy.)

1. You have 10 dollars and need to buy snacks at a gas station, what do you buy?
$10? Man, that's money. I can get gum, a Nature Valley snack bar and a Diet Cherry Coke Zero for $5 - and that's if I break down and buy Bob a Diet Coke, too. ...Which I usually remember to do.

But I'll keep the other $5, thank you.

Gas station convenience stores fascinate me - the Name Company ones are usually pretty similar, but the small ones? Amazing. I find the weirdest things, and the best array of random foods that people might buy, including jars of pickled pig's feet and pickled eggs on the counter, locally made jerky (always awesome, and better tasting than the mass-produced stuff), and a completely schizophrenic array of OTC pharmecutical goods, usually with dust on them. I swear I've seen a tube of Ipana toothpaste on sale in one.

2. If you were reincarnated as another creature, what would you be:
Do I get a choice? Because I'd be human again, thanks very much. I'd like to be reincarnated as a trust fund baby.

3. Who's your favorite red head?
That would be apprenticeminionlisettelaroux. As this question shows, redheads rawk. We have more fun than blondes, but we don't let on, or someone might try and stop us.

4. What do you order when you're at IHOP?
It depends - breakfast is always good, such as an omelette (with cheese, chicken, salsa, and sour cream. More like lunch, I suppose), but really, you haven't lived until you've had a bite of a egg and bacon cheeseburger. It's an egg, fried sunny side up (you need the runny yolk; it provides moisture), two strips of bacon, on a cheeseburger with lettuce, onion, and tomato.

Yes, it sounds disgusting. Most really good foods do, when you describe them. That's how you know it's bad for you - but as the law of inverse proportions states, the more gross it sounds, the better it tastes.

(This explains Haggis. The word "haggis" sounds innocuous and harmless, much like a small furry hamster. However, the full horror of haggis only becomes apparent when you actually eat a forkful and discover the hamster has sharp pointy bits, the plague, and the SARS. Mind you, haggis sliced up and fried is not that bad, proving that pretty much anything is improved by dipping it in batter and deep-frying it.)

(This is how the Scots eat all their food. The English used to claim that the Highland Scots would eat their babies, but we now know this is not true - unless it is batter dipped and deep-fried.)

(Full disclosure: I would probably eat a baby if it was batter dipped and deep-fried. That stuff may be evil, but it makes anything taste good.)

(I'm kidding.)

5. Last book you read?
I usually read four or five books at once, but if you take out the reference books (I was reading the book on embroideries at the Burrell Collection last night), the last fiction book I read was Once... by James Herbert. I'm also re-reading '48, also by James Herbert.

6. What is important in a relationship?
Equal work, equal time, equal respect, equal love. Bob and I also claim that if you're a doormat when it comes to things your partner wants, you should marry another doormat, because then you each take care of the other. I am a total doormat.

7. Describe the last time you were injured?
I don't know if you'd call it an injury exactly, but I have chronic pain (as you all know).  As for actual injuries, I don't get anything but bruises, usually.  I've never broken a bone.  I did once really scar up my right knee when I jumped off the steps of a tall diving board in the Mediterranean; I still have a slight scar from where I slammed my knee into the concrete base of the diving board, and almost exposed the bone.  I remember seeing the fascia (and the blood), but not the pain.  

It all worked out okay, because my brother, who had dared me to do it (I was 9 or 10), felt so bad about the injury that he bought me the shiny gold belt I had been lusting for in the marketplace (really tacky, it was).  I did have a thing about jumping off high places after that for a bit.

...I also have a small scar on my upper lip that I cannot remember getting.  So I tell people I got hit by flying glass when I shoved my sister's head through a plate glass window.  Apparently, I didn't trip or accidentally push her, I just shoved her head through the window very casually.  In my defense, I have no recollection of this event; my mother swears it's true, and says we weren't fighting, just playing.  

So, I'm a bit dangerous to be around.  They don't call me the Angel of Death (AoD to my friends) for nothing.

8. Of all your friends, who would you want to be stuck in a well with?
Well, I'd like to have Bob, but he wouldn't enjoy it much, so I won't make him.  But I'll need him nearby, because he has the smarts to get me out of the well posthaste.

...Especially if that creepy girl from The Ring makes an appearance. 

(Come to think of it, maybe I am the creepy girl from The Ring.  It would explain a lot.)

9. Rock concert or symphony?
If it's the symphony, I'll need my knitting.  I have a hard time sitting still for that long without visual stimulation (yes, I am a product of the video age; why do you ask?).  I'll need earplugs for the rock concert, but I'll be able to jump around, so that's okay.

10. What is the wallpaper of your cell phone? 
Smurf, please.  I have a crappy pay-as-you-go Tracfone with no bells or whistles.  Considering I mostly leave it off, and the only person I call is Bob, I don't really need anything more fancy.  I remember when mobile phones looked like something from the original Battlestar Galactica, and people looked idiotic with a massive brick of a phone pressed to their ear.   Now, phones are so small they aren't visible at all, and people look idiotic talking to themselves.  Plus ca change...

(By the way - don't look at me when you're talking on your phone, because I will assume you are talking to me, and I will talk back, because I was raised to be polite.  Do not then give me a dirty look because of your stupidity.  That pisses me off something awful.)

(Uh-oh, we're only up to #11.  I'd better cull some stuff if I'm going to get this done in a reasonable amount of time.)

(11, 12 - skipped.  Who cares what soda I drink?)

13. One type of transportation for the rest of your life?
Miataaaaaaaaaaaaah.  Seriously, guys, the automatic convertible top?  Awesome.   

14. Most recent movie you've watched in the theater?
Dark Knight.  We intend to go to the cinema much more often than we actually go, though we did see Wall-E.  Most movies, we can wait for cable.  

15. What's your favorite kind of cake?
I broke down and made cupcakes yesterday.  I ate two (frosted)  for dinner, and lost a pound and a half overnight.  I'm just sayin'.

(Yes, I know, water weight.  But I still plan to market my amazing Cupcake Diet book and make millions.)

16. Name an actor/actress who you think is hot: 
Rafe Fiennes.  I have a fatal weakness for elegant reserved men, and his performance in Quiz Show left me weak at the knees.  Damn him. 

17. What did you have for dinner last night?
Cupcakes.  French Vanilla, frosted with "fluffy" style white frosting and yellow sugar sprinkles.  New diet, I swear.

18. Look to your left, what do you see?
The office of Doom - mostly in file cabinet form.  There's a shelf of random toys, three shelves of technical manuals, protocols, and forms, and my little heater, because they don't know when to turn the air conditioning off, and it was 60 degrees when I came in this morning.

(19-21 skipped; I don't wear shoes with ties, I wear shoes with buckles.)

22. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
Think?  I know. 

(23-34 skipped - boring!)

35. Do people consider you smart?
They'd better

No, wait - I need people to think I'm stupid, because then they won't clue in to my plans for world domination.  I'll take over the world in secret, and then my true nature will be revealed at last.

(Seriously - cupcakes.  But only two.  And no eating the frosting out of the jar with a spoon.)

36. What time is it?
8am, and I should be working.

38. Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together? 
No, but it happens every now and then.

Speaking of horrific superglue accidents (as we were before you interrupted with the cupcakes), I once managed to use a cup Bob had poured excess superglue into as a juice cup.  Suddenly, my tongue felt coated with something hideous (superglue feels weirdly furry when you get it on your tongue).  Fortunately, I panicked and held my mouth open, so did not glue my tongue to the roof of my mouth (though that would have made the story funnier).  Bob called the poison control number, and was told "oh, don't worry, it won't do anything, and will come off pretty quickly.  We get people calling all the time because they try out superglue to hold their dentures in".  

...So there you have it.  Superglue makes a lousy denture adhesive. 

(39-41 - cupcake frosting - on a spoon.  Yum.)

42. What CD is currently in your CD player? 
The car has a mix cd of random songs I like, and BNL is playing on my IPod Shuffle. 

(43-46 - my cupcake-making hands will be 39 in December.)

47. Do you enjoy giving hugs?
It depends.  I like hugging my close friends.  I hate (hatehatehate) feeling forced to hug a skeevy SCA guy who is forcing the issue because it's the only way he ever gets to feel a woman, and he will go home and pretend the hug was actually much, much more, and... I don't want to be the subject of skeevy guy feel-ups.  

...I know I'm not alone in this. 

48. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
My tapeworm refuses to grow wings, so, I'm going to have to say never.  I get nervous a lot, but I feel it in my chest , the nape of my neck, and my upper arms.  Go figure. 

49. What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name?
I get called "Laurie" and "Lauren" all the time.  A lot.  It's like no-one in this country has ever heard the name "Laura" (and I know that's not true), and they can't work out how to say my name.  ...Of course, because of my accent, I say "Lauhhhhrahh", and that's tranlsated into "Lohruh".  I have ceased to be offended by this, and just correct them.  Over and over and over.

...Okay, maybe it does piss me off.  Just a little.

50. How much money do you have?
Despite the exhortations of Visa, cash is always welcome everywhere.  However, I have a couple of quarters only, and need to get to the ATM.  You should probably wait before mugging me.  Have a cupcake while you're waiting.
Tags: autobiography, meme, state of the me

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  • Slow and Steady...

    I woke up very early this morning (insomnia, subtype: chronic), and I got pulled into reading old entries on this blog. I apologize very much to all…

  • FYI

    So, I had some excitement on Halloween - I had emergency gallbladder surgery. Whee! Actually, since the pain was akin to being kicked in the solar…

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