A. Yes I can, I just don't a lot of the time, because I'm lazy. I also make very good jam, and we recently ate the last of the 2005 wild blackberry jam. I have a bunch of frozen wild persimmons waiting for their turn.
Q. What was your dream growing up?
A. To find that damn wardrobe and go live in a land where I could be a princess and have adventures. In my fantasy, I had the sword, though - I didn't want to be a girl, except for the clothes.
Q. What talent do you wish you had?
A. Sort of like heatermcca, I wish my fingers were long enough to play several different musical instruments with more skill, especially piano. Those half-sized pinkie fingers of mine make it difficult. I'd also like to be better at learning other languages - I can speak a few words in several, but despite years of German and French, I can't speak either with any fluency.
Q. If I bought you a drink what would it be?
A. These days it would really have to be non-alcoholic - I basically can't drink any alcohol without getting a headache, no matter how much water I drink.
Q. Favorite vegetable?
A. Artichokes. It may not be healthy, but I know how to make an awesome Hollandaise (from scratch, though I will use a mix if I have no fresh eggs, as that's key), and dipping the leaves in the sauce, then scraping the choke off the heart, and scooping up more sauce...
Q. What was the last book you read?
A. I'm currently reading a biography of Diana Mitford, who was a great beauty, and a total fuckhead - she ditched her first husband and married Sir Oswald Moseley (a fascist anti-Semitic bastard), and was a close personal friend of Hitler, along with her sister, Unity Mitford. She was an evil, evil woman, and absolutely fascinating. Great stuff. I'm also reading Dressing the Elite, a book on early modern English (i.e., Elizabethan-Georgian) clothing, which is research for the points article.
Q. What zodiac sign are you ?
A. Sagittarius. I do match all the astrological traits, not the least of which is that only another fire sign can handle me - fortunately, Bob is an Aries. I embody all the positive and negative aspects - which I freely admit.
Q. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
A. I'm just pierced in my ears - three in one, two in the other. I used to have more, but my body isn't great with foreign substances, and it ejected the rest of them. Which brings me to my tattoos - I have two, a skull on my right hip, and a Tudor rose on the left side of my neck, but they've both blurred badly. I think my body doesn't like anything it doesn't produce itself - which explains why, though my ex-husband infected me with cold sores (one of the many joys of being married to him), I only got two, and haven't had one in almost twenty years. My body does not approve of cold sores.
Q. Worst Habit?
A. Putting off things I'm afraid of - phone calls for doctor appointments, e-mails, setting up my shop. And I am a terrible housekeeper - I leave little piles of projects, shoes, and clothes all over the house.
Q. If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
A. If you looked like you were in trouble, I'd stop and ask if I could call someone for you - through my barely opened window, and my locked door (though if you are in trouble, I'll stay near you until help comes - and all bets are off if you're actually hurt; I'll help any way I can). Otherwise, I have to know you - I don't offer rides to strangers, and while some people might call me a buzzkill and selfish, I think anyone (sadly, especially women) who offers rides to strangers in this day and age is putting themselves at terrible risk.
Q. What is your favorite sport?
A. Spike Channel's "Wild World of Spike" - Tazer Tag! I don't want to play it, mind you - I want to watch.
Q. Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
A. Very optimistic - my entire life, everything, no matter how bad it seemed at the time, has always worked out for the best. Everything just works out in the end. How? It's a mystery.
Q. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A. Heeeeey - this question has been recycled from another meme! I refuse to answer - you'll be forced to read through all my other memes if you really want to know.
Q. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A. I don't talk about it. I'm not big on sharing my big traumas publicly, just the ones that no longer have any deep emotional resonance for me.
Q. Tell me one weird fact about you:
A. I absolutely have to put on my shoes right foot first. I cannot make myself put on my left shoe before the right, even in shoe shops. Ain't happenin'.
Q. Do you have any pets?
A. Not any more. I have black vulture eggs (hopefully soon to be babies!) instead.
Q. What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
A. Do I know you? You can come in (excuse the mess). If I don't know you, and you insist, I'm getting the gun.
Q. Do you think clowns are scary?
A. Lame question! Meme filler! Not answering.
Q. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
A. I'd fix the little belly pooch left over from losing 70~ pounds after growing up fat.
[I removed some meme repeat questions here - really, people - think up some new questions!]
[Of course, it's not like I'm obligated to answer, but if I'm going to bore everyone with memeing, let them at least be new boring questions!]
Q. Ever been arrested?
A. Techically, not quite. But I have been "brought in", and the cop was a massive asshole who treated me like a felon. I was a "missing teenager" - I hadn't done anything illegal, and I didn't cause any issues, but he was on a power trip, and I hope his balls rotted off particularly painfully. Even the other cops didn't like him - Bob says that cops like that usually come to a bad end. I hope so - he made me mistrustful of cops for years.
Q. Bottle or Draft?
A. Don't care. The only beer I can stand is Miller Light, which isn't really beer.
Q. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
A. Stick it in savings. Sorry, but having had a past husband who was an idiot with finances, ran up huge debt, and wouldn't let me know the state of our finances, I'm a lot more conservative with my funds these days. We carry no credit card debt, and I like it that way.
Q. Would you date me?
A. All of you? I don't know how I'd manage.
Q. What's your favorite place to hang out at?
A. Not with the dangling participles at the end of sentences, I can assure you. I like "hanging out at" my sofa, working on projects, or at the farm.
Q. Do you believe in ghosts?
A. Bob has seen one. That's all I'm prepared to say at this time.
Q. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A. Projects, research. I'm boring.
Q. Do you swear a lot?
A. Fuckin' A.
Q. Biggest pet peeve?
A. Refusal to take responsibility for one's actions - stupidity has consequences, and stupidity should hurt. Pain is how we learn not to do stupid things. Coccooning people against ever having to reap the idiocy they sow does society no favours, and results in a school system that systematically drives out every good teacher.
Q. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A. It cannot be done in one word, that's how truly awesome I am. Or psychotic - take your pick. Either way, I merit a manila folder 2" thick.
Q. Middle Name?
A. Diana, like the goddess. In fact, my mother got creative with both my sister and I - while my brother had good solid respectable Christian names, my sister and I got heathen names that meant when we were all given a "guardian" saint in the religious school I attended, everyone got the saint they were named after except for me - I had to use my moher's name because I was a little pagan hoyden who was going to hell.
I didn't mind. '8)
And, because I've been dying to use this image somehow (and I have no conscience):