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Salad is not diet food!

I am working from home today, hence the lateness of this entry.  In between other stuff, I have been cooking up a special dinner for Bob n' me, since tomorrow he is leaving from work to spend a week down at the farmhouse, and I will miss him.

True to society's teachings, I am showing him how much I will miss him with food.  And I don't care, because food?  I am pretty good with it.  In particular, the chicken salad that is melding flavours in the 'fridge as we speak I write.  This chicken salad recipe started life in the Silver Palate Cookbook (which, if you do not have it, I thoroughly recommend buying), but has been tweaked over the years to make what Bob calls "chicken salad crack".  

Often, I find (to my shame) that store-bought or restaurant versions of certain foods taste better to me than the version I make at home; the substitute doesn't taste the same (or nearly as good).  McDonalds cheeseburgers and fries, HelluvaGood bacon horseradish dip, Bird's custard, and a couple of different pasta sauces all taste better than the homemade substitutes I have tried.  I attribute this to the use of addictive substances in the store version, but I try not to say it too loud, since I don't want them to sue me.*

Yes, I know.  I apparently have the palate of a cardboard box.  But I am proud to say that there are two thing I have never found that can hold a candle to the version I make:  Guacamole, and  chicken salad.  Boston Market used to have an extremely close version of the salad, but they stopped making it (probably because it had fifty million calories a pound, but who cares? It was good).  Good as it was, it still wasn't as good as mine.  As for guacamole?  Forget it.  I've had some nice enough ones in restaurants, but don't ever buy a grocery store version unless you sincerely enjoy the flavour and texture of library paste.

My salad recipe started life as a tarragon-walnut chicken salad, but as I'm so-so on nuts in salad, the walnuts were the first to go.  I tweaked it several times after that, and since I'm a nice person (as far as you know), I'll give you guys the recipe.

Crack Chicken Salad
(disclaimer:  I am not responsible for any heart attacks incurred by consuming this salad.)

1.5 (or two, if you like a slightly meatier salad) pounds of boneless chicken breast or chicken tenders
4 - 5 sticks celery, washed and diced
1.5 cups sour cream
1 cup heavy cream
.5 cup mayonnaise
1Tbsp tarragon
salt
pepper 

Mix 1 cup sour cream and 1 cup heavy cream, cover with plastic wrap, and let sit on the kitchen counter for one or two hours.  Put the chicken into a glass baking dish (it doesn't matter if they overlap slightly), and pour the cream mixture over them.  Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for 25 minutes.  
Pull out a mid-sized bowl.  Once the chicken is done, spoon all the thick cream mixture out from the chicken, and put in the bowl (this is important).  Save the thin creamy broth for making soup - it's killer (and freezes pretty well).  Put the chicken on a plate, let cool, and dice into small pieces (however small you like it).
Add the rest of the sour cream and the mayonnaise to the bowl with the cooked cream mixture and blend until smooth.  Add tarragon, and salt and pepper to taste (I like lots of salt).  Put the dressing in the 'fridge, and put the diced chicken in the fridge to cool.  Do not mix them together yet.
Give it about two hours, then mix the chicken and the celery and dressing together.  Taste, and add more tarragon or salt, as desired (like I said, I like lots of salt).  Cover, and let sit in the 'fridge for at least three hours.

There's an even more decadent version I've made that used batter fried chicken cut up with the batter still on, and diced avocados.  Don't bake the chicken, omit the tarragon and use just half a cup of the sour cream/heavy cream mix instead of the plain sour cream.  This version will kill you if you're not careful, but it's worth it.

It should go without saying that there is not a planet in the universe on which this salad is low-calorie.  I make it maybe three times a year.

(I can feel your arteries hardening.)



*McDonald's, I swear this is a jokePlease don't sue me.

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Comments

( 14 brains — Leave a chunk of brain! )
thatpotteryguy
Mar. 12th, 2008 07:50 pm (UTC)
HelluvaGood bacon horseradish dip


I love the stuff. Thank (insert diety of your choice) that the local grocery stopped carrying it, or I'd weigh about 600 lbs.
(Deleted comment)
laurensa
Mar. 12th, 2008 11:38 pm (UTC)
Re: McDonald's is crack...
McDonalds Double Cheeseburger...oh, yum. I love it.

My two specialties are roast turkey and stuffing (Mom's cornrbread and sausage stuffing, no one can touch it) and apple dumplings with vanilla sauce.
acanthusleaf
Mar. 12th, 2008 07:55 pm (UTC)
Tarragon is way underrated. I'll try this!

BTW, I realy do have silver barbed-wire laurels for you. Please send me your real-world mailing address. lscavanaugh @ earthlink .net
attack_laurel
Mar. 13th, 2008 10:27 am (UTC)
Yeah, sorry - I'll be sending that today. :)
bdeb
Mar. 12th, 2008 08:04 pm (UTC)
"Yes, I know. I apparently have the palate of a cardboard box."
Well you are, you know....English and all... :-) That is a cheap joke, really. You people do know how to fry that is for sure.... ;-)
isenglass
Mar. 12th, 2008 08:10 pm (UTC)
OK, I would totally eat that chicken salad in a heartbeat. The only thing it is missing is black cherries. Mmmmm.... cherry chicken salad! Yes, I am aware of my evilness. Enjoy!
chargirlgenius
Mar. 12th, 2008 08:19 pm (UTC)
Ok, you tease and don't share how you make guac...
bdeb
Mar. 12th, 2008 08:47 pm (UTC)
I agree. I love Guac.
attack_laurel
Mar. 13th, 2008 10:28 am (UTC)
I'm saving that one for another day when I don't have anything to write about. :)
zarhooie
Mar. 12th, 2008 09:30 pm (UTC)
I will challenge you to a guac-off.
parlor_games
Mar. 12th, 2008 09:40 pm (UTC)
"(I can feel your arteries hardening.)"

I had no idea this was *that kind* of live journal.
loosecanon
Mar. 12th, 2008 09:51 pm (UTC)
creme fraiche and walnuts in mine, I like your tarragon option. Thanks!
attack_laurel
Mar. 13th, 2008 10:29 am (UTC)
Basically the heavy cream/sour cream mix is a poor man's creme fraiche.
karynbautista
Mar. 17th, 2008 01:49 am (UTC)
My mom makes a chicken salad where you just use leftover cooked chicken, mayo, waterchesnuts, and curry powder. Mmmm.... Curry chicken salad. Sometimes, she makes it with potatos instead of chicken and water chesnuts, and it is the best potato salad too!
( 14 brains — Leave a chunk of brain! )

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