attack_laurel (attack_laurel) wrote,
attack_laurel
attack_laurel

My morning...

4:50am   *Alarm goes off*

Brain:  Get up!  Get up!  Dammit, I hate losing an hour.  I want my hour back!  Screw Daylight Savings!

Arms:  Oof.  Go back to sleep.  We haven't recovered yet.

Brain:  But I remembered to make you put on your new Lidocaine patches!  Aren't they working yet?  Those bastards cost money!

Arms:  Hmph.  Not when you forget to wake up and give us more pills every four hours.  Besides, they came off halfway through the night.  Don't you remember?

Brain:  Not really - I was asleep; you were on autonomic nerve response (24 hours a day/365 days a year - like AAA, but faster response times).  But anyway - nothing?

Arms:  Wha'?  Gerroff.  We're sleeping; talk to us in two hours.  

Brain:  Get UP!!eleventy!!!

Arms:  Fuck you.

Legs:  Okay, okay!  We're up!  Dressing!  Shoes!  Arms, hop to it, or we're going out in the cold without a sweater.

Arms:  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  The abuse we take.  I don't know why we put up with it.  Give us more pills.
Tags: humour, pain
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