December 18th, 2007

me and my vulture

Wreck the Halls

I don't know what being in the holiday mood means to you, but for me, I always get a warm fuzzy feeling watching the world end. After a couple of days of relatives, there's nothing better than curling up on the sofa to watch zombies destroy the nation, especially if one of the victims that dies in a particularly gruesome way looks just a little bit like Uncle Ned, who won't stop making jokes about the size of your ass.

(In the event of a real zombie emergency, trip Uncle Ned and throw him in the path of the zombie horde. His enormous beer belly should keep them busy long enough for you to get away.)

As we all know, I'm big on horror movies. I'm also big on apocalypse movies. When the two coincide, I'm pretty darned happy. So, I liked I am Legend; it had monsters, pathos, and excellent scenery of a completely deserted New York. I enjoyed it tremendously, including the nods to its previous remake, Omega Man. The original movie (filmed as The Last Man on Earth) starred Vincent Price, and had actual vampires with an allergy to garlic. I don't recall much more; it's been years since I saw it. If you need more, look it up on

My favourite kind of apocalypse movies are the ones that show the apocalypse happening (I guess that rules out post-apocalypse movies then, doesn't it?). Like director Roland Emmerich (The Day After Tomorrow, Independence Day), I totally dig seeing nature/aliens/zombies wipe out civilization. Extra points if very large explosions are involved, and it goes to the top of my list if there's also a rather gross-looking virus/bacterium/alien spooge turning people into raw hamburger on legs.

Yes, I'm sick. But I'm also looking forward to the release of Alien vs. Predator: Requiem.   I'm not fussy about movies; if I want unrelenting intelligence, I'll read a book.  For me, movies just need 'splosions (YMMV).  There's something so fun about watching one's worst fears fulfilled.

There's also an amusing undercurrent of acquisivity in many last-person-on-earth movies; I think Dawn of the Dead (the original) said it most obviously.  Imagine getting an entire multiplex mall to yourself.  Sure, there are dead cannibals outside, but inside there's a gourmet food store, an ice rink, clothes, fun crap, and all the material goods you could ever want!  I enjoy this aspect of the movie; perhaps I'm not into zombies at all, but simply want to go on a giant shopping spree.

Nah.  It's the zombies.  Give me that old-time zombie action, baby.  Besides, short of a zombie invasion, Uncle Ned is never going to leave.