attack_laurel (attack_laurel) wrote,
attack_laurel
attack_laurel

New blog on the block

I've added a new link to my blogroll - Debra's Just Maintaining.  This is the blog of a woman who is writing about her experiences with maintaining weight loss, and how it's nothing like what the diet-industrial complex tells you.  It's hard.  It's a part time job, even.

She's also supportive of HAES and Fat Acceptance, though obviously, she is trying to keep her weight down, so there is diet talk on her blog.  I think it's great that she's doing this, and I think it really is an eye-opener for anyone who has never experienced the ups and downs (literally) of the weight loss rollercoaster.

One of the things she talks about that I have intimate familiarity with is how dieting, even when you're one of the 3% - three percent! - of people who successfully keep 90% of their weight off, your body is changed forever.  Those photos in the diet ads of women with flat stomachs in bikinis?  That, if you lose more than 10lbs, will never be you.  Your skin does not spring back into a tight shape matching your new lower weight, it just sags.  My skin wrinkles like a Shar-Pei when I bend over.  The tops of my thighs don't have much cellulite, but they sag.  I'm just lucky I don't have the "apron" some women get on their upper arms, and I still feel okay with bare arms in the summer (I always gained weight on my hips and belly).

And, with (at the moment - thanks, Lyrica!) a 60lb maintained weight loss, I still have a round belly.  I will always have a round belly.  It's not going away.  But, thanks to the Fat Acceptance movement, I am learning to love my body, not hate it.  I no longer cringe when I see myself naked.  I no longer punch my belly for not being flat (who decreed that a flat belly was the greatest thing ever?  There's about 5 years during teenagehood that slim teens have flat bellies, and then we turn into women, and we're supposed to be rounded).  I no longer starve myself because I don't fit the current fashion ideal.

But I'm not at full love yet - recently, I've been slipping back into feeling dislike for my body and it's shape.  I've been thinking about dieting, and about how my body doesn't look attractive.  I'm still angry about the weight gain caused by medication.  I'm punishing myself for not fitting an arbitrary and very recent standard of fashion in women's bodies (where we're supposed to look like children with boobs - doesn't anyone else find this creepy?).

The extreme thinness currently set up as a body ideal is not actually ideal - studies show that we actually live longer when we have extra fat on our bodies.  What is currently described as "overweight" (I'm in this category, btw) is actually healthier than the so-called "normal" weight.

How fucked up are we as a society that thin is considered better than healthy?

And it seeps into our pores, this twisted attitude - every moment of every day, we're supposed to be vigilantly aware of what we eat, how we look, and what we do.  Total strangers consider it perfectly correct to comment on our appearance and food choices.  We find maladaptive ways of dealing - starving, vomiting, overexercising, food obsession - and still our bodies do what they want to do.

And even when I make a conscious decision to get off the demon weight-loss carousel, the music still plays in my head.  It probably always will.

(comments are always welcome, but please don't spout the "calories in, calories out" lie in the comments - we're all perfectly familiar with the diet industry nonsense.  This is a HAES blog, and we don't think thinness should be held up as an ideal at the expense of health.)
Tags: blog, diet, fat acceptance, haes, state of the me
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 37 comments
Previous
← Ctrl ← Alt
Next
Ctrl → Alt →
Previous
← Ctrl ← Alt
Next
Ctrl → Alt →