Robert Sinclair has a fabulous page that posits that any comic can be improved by replacing the last line with "Christ, what an asshole". It's fabulous. (h/t to Alas, A Blog.)
Hyperbole and a Half explains how to feel manly in the shower if you can't stand Old Spice.
Shakesville's commenters have some fun with a blatantly sexualized ad from Skyy Vodka.
GraphJam explains why you can't find that thing you're looking for.
The Onion explains every horror movie, ever in less than
Passive Aggressive Notes gives you an excellent excuse to forget to send flowers to your mother this mother's day (or a tie to your father in June).
And Despair Inc. thinks you should just give up.
Have a good weekend, everyone - we're off to the farm tonight.