So, I have the hair dye in. We'll see what happens*.
Bob is watching Les Stroud doing the arctic circle (Survivorman) (it's an old episode), and Les has just said "now, smelling like seal, I will walk across polar bear infested country".
Who's the smartass? Yes, I am the super smartass. I continued the obvious (to me) train of thought:
"I also have a sign around my neck that says 'BEARS: EAT ME', and every three minutes I am making the classic call of a lonely wounded seal unable to move. Then, I'm going to get naked and rub polar bear pheromone over the parts of me that don't already have seal fat on them."
Of course, Bear Grylls would then eat the polar bear raw, thus showing up the fundamental difference (aside from the whining) between the two programs.
I always thought that eventually, the polar bears would get way too smart for the hunters...
"Did you find anything?"
"No, nothing. It's weird; there used to be so many polar bears around here. Hey, where's the plane?"
"Over there - the pilot is already inside. Let's go."
"Okay. Hey, pilot Phil."
*plane takes off*
*whispers* "Hey, wasn't the pilot shorter on the way out? And less white and furr...AAAGAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"
*growl* *chomp* *slurp*
The polar bears have had fifty years or so of looking at crashed or abandoned planes - better watch out.
*Probably just a lighter shade of reddish blond. Worst case, my hair falls out. Which will make it a loss less expensive to dye my hair.
UPDATE: Yeah, reddish blond. I'm going lighter next time. This is fun.