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A little bit more serious, now...

Oops, lost a couple of people off my friends' list with that last post. :)

On the other hand, I love how polite everyone is in the discussions, and I do appreciate it. Yesterday's post was pretty much off the cuff, based on some reading I've been doing lately, which in turn was triggered by my experience with the Lyrica.

Y'all know me (at least in part), and you have probably gleaned from a number of things I've said that I'm a complete control freak. I've kept off the weight I lost for almost 15 years now, by slowly readjusting my diet and outlook on food, and wrestling through emotional and comfort issues as well as changing my body image (and that went slowest of all). But the Lyrica undid all of my discipline, all of my determination, all of my "will-power".  The effects of that drug were able to destroy every tool I developed to lose weight over the last 15 years, and I was really, truly, powerless against it.  In less than three months, I put on 15lbs, and it showed no sign of stopping or slowing down.

(This is not the sole reason I stopped taking it, but it certainly was a factor.  Bigger factors were that it did not replace my other painkiller, it didn't take away the pain significantly, and most terrifying, I was slipping into depression.  I've been depressed - I spent my teenage years and early twenties in a fog of misery, and I'd rather not deal with that again, thanks.)

I really am one of the people for whom the solution to my extra weight was "exercise more; eat less", but I cannot allow myself to think that is the sole solution to fat - I know too many people who are highly disciplined, more active than me, and who still struggle with their weight. It's not a question of motivation, will power, or learning to eat less (as some of the stories people told in the comments yesterday illustrated - and I appreciate the openness, you guys - thanks).

Actually, it's not a question of any one thing - it's a question of any of hundreds of possible things, and some of those things are not properly understood, even by the people that study them without bias. My experience with the Lyrica was really eye-opening, as it was my first experience with a drug that causes significant weight gain in higher doses, along with a literally uncontrollable appetite (and my God, I have massive sympathy for anyone who has a weight gain-causing medical condition they can't fix as easily). I never felt full, even after eating four slices of pizza one night - and I usually feel full (and slighty sick) after two slices. I could have eaten an entire (large) pizza that night. All my normal receptors were completely shut off. How does one fight that? The gnawing, constant hunger? It's possible to make oneself sick and fat eating fruit, if one is gorging on it every second (yum, bananas), and the trouble with that kind of hunger is that drinking water or eating celery doesn't cut it.
(To be honest, drinking water and eating celery when one is hungry rarely does anything but make one hate celery - and I like celery.  Plain, even.  I don't like water, though - it has to be flavoured somehow.  Plain water makes me feel really sick, which sort of works if one wants to kill one's appetite, but isn't any way to go through one's day.)

I think it's tremendously illuminating that we have so many drugs and medical conditions that cause weight gain as a side effect, and yet we do not have one drug that causes long-term weight loss, not one. There are a couple that cause a temporary lessening of appetite (and, as I discovered, it's really temporary - two to three days - when one's body is fighting in the opposite direction), and a couple that block fat absorbtion in the intestine [edit: by binding the fats so that they cannot be taken in - and by taking vitamin D, & A with them, by the way; a number of vitamins and minerals need fat to be absorbed] , but nothing that actually causes the brain to command the body to start burning off fat stores.

- Not to mention that taking a drug that can cause heart attacks and arrhythmia seems counterproductive if one is trying to lose weight to prevent heart disease. Speed is addictive, loses its potency quickly (requiring increasing doses for the same effect), and the fat-blockers have not been studied for the long-term effects of altering the effciency of the digestive system (digestive tract cancers being one big worry [edit:  Malnutrition and vitamin deficiencies being another]).

If losing weight was easy, it would not be a multi-billion dollar industry. The author of Fat is Not a Four-Letter Word, Charles Roy Schroeder, calls the diet-industry charlatans and pushers "creeps", and I think he's right. He is also one of the people that has done a more in-depth study of the Metropolitan Insurance Company's height-weight charts, and pointed out that statistically, underweight people live less long than slightly (10-20lbs) overweight people. Those charts are still used, even though things like bone density and overall health have changed significantly since those charts were compiled.

(And if you ever want to hear me go on for at least twenty minutes about what constitutes a bad study, get me started on that chart. Too many doctors use it as gospel, without understanding what it really represents.)

Take me - I am reasonably slender (though not, by any current definition, thin). I weigh (currently) 139-140lbs, I wear a size 8 in most things (size 16 in 1940s sizing, btw). I am 5'3. My weight is actually about average for my height. I feel my best when I weigh between 130-135lbs, but I'm still working off the weight I gained on the Lyrica. I have a small frame (albeit with a bone density that appears to be mimicking hardened steel). According to the chart for women, my weight should be between 111-124lbs.

I can accurately tell you what condition I would be in if I weighed in at the top end of that range, because a few years ago, stress and a medication that made me so depressed I couldn't eat got me down to 124lbs.  I looked sick.  My mother, who is quite weight conscious, thought I looked too thin.  Everyone else got quite worried about me - rightly so, because I looked awful - hollow cheeks, dark circles under my eyes, bony arms and legs (and yet my body still managed to retain my paunchy abdomen), dry, brittle, dull hair - and I looked like a grape with toothpicks sticking out of it.  It wasn't a good feeling, and it even hurt to sit for any length of time (y hello thar, coccyx).

I'm not naturally thin, but I'm not naturally big, either.  I'm soft, round, curvy, and hourglass shaped.  By modern beauty industry standards, I'm short and fat.  And this is where, as a society, we have competely gone off the rails.

I want people to be healthy - do not mistake my post yesterday as an endorsement of a sedentary junk food-filled lifestyle.  One of the greatest things Americans can do for themselves is get junk food out of schools and make healthy foods cheap and constantly available, especially for children.  Re-shaping the national thinking so that vegetables aren't "yucky" would be great.  Building neighbourhoods that allow safe and easy walking from place to place, expanding parks and active play areas, and making junk food more expensive could all help with adjusting our thinking about what health is. 

Unfortunately, all those things cost money - something we have less of than ever.  And a lot of the money we use for things like music programs in schools comes from food companies - the same food companies that will be fighting us every step of the way if we alter our eating habits.  There is much less money to be made selling unprocessed foods, and make no mistake, the large packaged food companies have sunk billions into making people think that their food is healthy and good for you (for an excellent illustration of this, look at how Kraft markets its processed cheese slices to children, not to mention its boxed macaroni and cheese mix).  We will even affect our economy significantly by moving to less processed foods.  Companies sell their food cheaply because they know that price and convenience are more important to most people over nutrition.  If we refuse to buy their food, they will fight back.

(This is not a reason to give up, mind you - just scale the Hot Pockets back to once a week.)

(Mmmmm, Hot Pockets.  I know they're evil, but for me, they're the apex of convenience foods.  Fat, salt, sugar, bread, meat, cheese - much tastier than an apple, damn it.)

The tendrils of the food industry reach deep - I nearly went to college in Atlanta because I got a scholarship from Coke.  It's not only the food itself we would have to give up, but all the money it brings in to things we don't seem to be willing to pay for with our taxes, like schools.

But I digress.

To heal our societal sickness, we need to drop the visual of thin=good.  Health comes in all sizes, just as sickness does.  Using an arbitrary measurement of health like dress size, or a cookie-cutter idea of a single size and shape as the only ideal, causes irreparable harm and severely disordered thinking about what health actually means.

And it really does affect people - when the tabloids call Jessica Simpson "fat" because she wears an unflattering pair of jeans, what are the rest of us mortals who aren't model-shaped supposed to think about ourselves?  When a designer says that Heidi Klum is too "fat" to walk down his runway, is that any incentive to even try?  For most of us, no matter how much we starve ourselves, we will never, ever, be shaped like Ms. Klum (who, bless her, basically said "fuck you", instead of blaming herself for not meeting an unrealistic ideal).

When we focus on fat as "ugly", we rip the rug out from under people who do not fit an arbitrary ideal.  What's the point of trying if everyone is going to call you ugly anyway?  When "health" is defined as "looking thin", then everyone who is larger and still healthy cannot ever win.  If you can't win, what's the use even trying?

No matter how good our self-esteem, it's a rare person who can feel good about themselves in the face of a society screaming about how ugly and gross they are because they aren't teeny-tiny.  Women in particular get bombarded from all sides with instructions about how they're supposed to look, and how, if they don't, they're ugly losers.

Patently, this is untrue.  And when you hit ground level, you can see that beauty comes in all sizes, and can be extraordinary no matter how much the current societal ideal disagrees.  Personally, I think pinkleader  is one of the more beautiful people I know.  She doesn't fit the size 4 societal expectation, but she's gorgeous.

More importantly, dress size has nothing to do with health, and weight is frequently misleading.  And I think we need to divorce sizeism from health - both sides, big and small, will benefit, since so much free-wheeling hate and frustration will not be rolling around, getting everyone slimy.  Health is more important.

We live longer, better lives than we ever have.  Despite the cries of doom from the fat haters, I don't see people dropping like flies any more than before - and if we want to talk health epidemic, let's talk car accidents.  People, cell phones and innattentive driving kill.

There - that accusation should lose me a few more readers.  *evil grin*


( 126 brains — Leave a chunk of brain! )
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Apr. 2nd, 2009 12:04 pm (UTC)
To heal our societal sickness, we need to drop the visual of thin=good. Health comes in all sizes, just as sickness does.


During college, I was the workout fiend who could eat anything and not gain. When I stopped eating anything and everything, and stuck to a healthy, relatively low-cal diet? I lost so much body fat so quickly that I stopped having a menstrual cycle. Yet I got compliments everywhere I went. I was thin, but I sure as hell wasn't healthy. Apparently, I looked HOT, even while I was inwardly full of panic over what was happening to my body-- was it irreversible? Was I ruining my health for the rest of my life? Was I seeing the beginning of the sort of obsessive behavior that leads women to anorexia?

The answer for me at the time was to find a balance-- I was working out too much, almost obsessively, and I was eating too little. I was following what some magazine article said about how many calories should be consumed per day by a woman of my age, height and weight-- nevermind that it didn't take my ridiculous levels of activity into account.

Thanks for yet another thoughtful and thought-provoking post.
Apr. 2nd, 2009 12:22 pm (UTC)

I'm close to my heaviest right now but I've recently made the committment to get on the treadmill evey morning before work (and that means 5 am!). I may not be losing weight, but my cardio is already getting better - I no longer weeze going up a couple flights of steps! I'm working towards being the most healthy fat person I know! If I do lose weight as a side effect, bully for me!
Apr. 2nd, 2009 01:40 pm (UTC)
> most healthy fat person I know

Me too. I skate on a roller derby league and since I started working out so intensely have... gained 40 pounds, over three years. Up to about 10 hours a week of very intense exercise, and the weight just keeps creeping on. So I don't know what I'm doing wrong; I don't eat much more, but I exercise fantastic amounts. And it makes me bigger. I have huge thigh muscles now, but I've put on fat around my waist and hips too. So who knows! Guess my body really wants it there?
Now I've tipped over into "obese" on that Metropolitan Whatsit chart, whereas before I always hovered in the "overweight" category.
But dangit, I can kick anyone's ass now!
I think I might start crosstraining so my arms get more beefy so I'm more intimidating, because all this ass-kicking smears my makeup. :)
Derby! - drscam - Apr. 2nd, 2009 10:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Derby! - dragonlady7 - Apr. 2nd, 2009 10:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Derby! - drscam - Apr. 3rd, 2009 12:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 2nd, 2009 12:22 pm (UTC)
One of the greatest things Americans can do for themselves is get junk food out of schools and make healthy foods cheap and constantly available, especially for children.

Have you heard what some crazy school boards/city governments are trying to do up here in Canada? Banning bottled water within their grounds. It's all in the name of being 'environmentally responsible' and push people to drink more tap water. Yeah, right. Guess what, everyone's just going to go out and purchase stuff other places, sigh (I do use tap water- I'm not going to pay for a bottle of water unless I actually need the container). Maybe if they'd put enough recycling bins around, it wouldn't be quite as much of an issue- I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to recycle, but no bin was available, or it was so tiny, it was packed full.

And I very much agree about not having one ideal for body shape. There are numerous celebrities who were 'large', but as soon as they lost weight and became "hot," I can't stand how they look- they look sick and unwell!
Apr. 2nd, 2009 01:47 pm (UTC)
My son's high school and the community college he's now attending have those damned water fountains. He would never drink out of them because they were filthy. Kids would throw candy wrappers and gum into them, spit in them, etc.

So he carries a liter water bottle with him to school every day, refilled at home from the Brita water filter. When the bottle gets grungy he recycles it and buys another. If the school banned bringing bottled water, he'd bring in one of the insulated bottles we use when we go camping.
Apr. 2nd, 2009 12:23 pm (UTC)
Great post. I think the whole thing pits women against women too. I have friends who are naturally skinny and who are naturally curvy.

When I was 16 I got mono and lost a lot of weight. I'm 5'8.5 and weighed 110 pounds. This is a BMI of 16.5, far under the underweight category. Even after I got better I felt horrible - weak and dizzy all the time.

And guess what? A talent scout for Elite saw me and wanted my mom to sign me up to model. Thank god I didn't do it. But that stuck with me - when I'd been ill and looked awful - *that* was when the beauty machine wanted me. And this was in the 80s when models were supposedly "healthier" sizes!
Apr. 2nd, 2009 06:29 pm (UTC)
People told me I should "be a model" in my early teens. I got sick and then grew like a weed, 5'9" and just over 100lbs :)

But it always made ME annoyed because I wasn't as strong as other kids. Couldn't run far, or lift stuff, or climb, because I had no muscle mass. Honestly, I would far rather be shorter and sturdier, so I could play more.

Which brings me to another point. Even model-shaped women are not culturally "rewarded" for being that size. I'm the national average height for MEN. So this makes me threatening to them. God forbid I wear HEELS! I'm not little and cute with giant boobies, so somehow I am also "not a woman". Awesome, thanks.

And clothes? ALL sleeves are 3/4 length in my universe. Most pants don't go near my ankles. Size small shirts reach someplace around my bellybutton.

So, screw it. I don't regret my recent gain of 10+ pounds. In an archeological sense, it makes me feel wealthy, that I can afford to eat that much :) I enjoy having arms, and thighs, for the first time in my life. They go nicely with the belly and flat, white-girl butt that I've always had. I'm no longer a 13 year old, now I am a WOMAN, and being one of those means you have body fat. No body fat = GIRL.
(no subject) - nicolaa5 - Apr. 2nd, 2009 10:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 2nd, 2009 12:46 pm (UTC)
Thank you for these posts.
This is out of order and rambling, I am afraid. Coffee slow.

When I was a little kid, not all that long ago, every house on the block had a garden. Most had a fruit tree or two, and still the parents lamented the lack of real food.

Food tasted like something. It went bad more quickly, so we bought less at a time. We had more variety, because the cherries ( or whatever ) didn't always look good enough to eat. We had raspberries when they were ripe, I don't think we saw them in the store.

When McDonalds opened locally, families made a treat of it; if the kids were really good AND Mom was too tired/overworked to deal, it was one of the options, along with Dad cooking, fish sticks, a box of mac and cheese, or so-on.

Kids played outside til supper time, we never knew that there had been an attempted abduction. No one told us. They just told us to get out there and leave our parents alone until supper.

We still grew up to be larger adults.

What we can realistically do is give younger women the role model of healthy women enjoying and living our lives at all sizes and shapes.

My shape/size is between me, my physician, and my tailor.
I just wish auto-manufacturers would make something to fit the modern human frame.
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 2nd, 2009 01:09 pm (UTC)
Don't get ME started about clothing!
I grew up in the fifties, and was in high school in the sixties. Those of my age know that at that time the fashion industry dictated what you could wear. They made one version of clothing available, and God help you if you didn't look good in it. What was available was miniskirts, NOTHING else. I don't have to tell you that at 5'4" and 195 pounds, I looked HORRIBLE in a miniskirt.

The only good thing about it was it made me learn to sew. I had to, or I would have had NOTHING to wear. And I still sew, although now it's period clothing. But as a large woman who's working on losing weight, I practically live in pants and t shirts. Not the prettiest things, but at least I have another choice than miniskirts.
Re: Don't get ME started about clothing! - redsquirrel - Apr. 2nd, 2009 04:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Apr. 2nd, 2009 01:04 pm (UTC)
Hey, I'm still here. I'm one of those people who could eat anything and everything and stay stick thin - well that is until my thyroid went haywire in my early twenties then I turned into this sponge that walks by food and gains twenty pounds. Like you say, fat is a symptom of any one of maybe hundreds of conditions that are the underlying cause and there will be no one cure. It's a struggle!
Apr. 2nd, 2009 01:07 pm (UTC)
Fantastic post. I wish I wrote this eloquently and thoughtfully. Thank you.
Apr. 2nd, 2009 02:56 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks. It's a difficult subject, because I have sympathy for everyone, large and small - except for nasty people. :)
Apr. 2nd, 2009 01:11 pm (UTC)
Rock on with your bad self. Sure, I'm a curvy size 10 with a poochy belly, but in two weeks I'm running a half marathon. My size 00 sister can barely walk a mile, much less run 13.1.

So let the BMI charts tell me I'm overweight. I'm OK with that. It's just a number. And just like I don't let a dress size determine my worth, I'm not going to let some stupid random chart tell me I'm unhealthy when I'm not.
Apr. 2nd, 2009 01:44 pm (UTC)
I think the hardest thing for me, is overcoming the "fixation" of off the rack clothing sizes v. pattern sizes. I was always skinny as a child, now that I'm over 40, with various health issues (fibro, osteoarthritis, diabetes, bouts of depression and coping anxiety) it's hard to keep chipper about my size. I can rationalize till I;m blue in the face about it being "just a number," but it really doesn't help with the issues of positive body image regardless of size.

When I was young, I was skinny. I love boots, almost to the point of fetishism. When I was a teenager, I had the /hardest/ time finding boots that would fit me. I didn't have a graceful, curving calf - I had twigs for legs (and arms and was flat-chested well into high school). Whenever I tried on a nice, high-calf boot, it looked like someone took a tree branch and stuck it in the boot. This was devastating to me. This was about the time of Twiggy's 'fame.'

Nowadays, I have to battle to keep my weight down around 162 (at 5'7.5")... Still, I refuse to do the Zoloft & Pamelor dance anymore. Sure my brain was wrapped in a soft, fuzzy gray blanket - but I couldn't react to *anything.* That and the weight gain they both engendered, is no way to live. I was getting to the levels with both of those drugs that was necessitating blood work every six weeks, since I had to take one in the morning and one at night. IIRC, I was taking around 500mg of each. No more!
(no subject) - fiberferret - Apr. 3rd, 2009 05:31 am (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 2nd, 2009 01:26 pm (UTC)
currently, i am what could be considered 'morbidly obese.' and yet, i go to the gym, work out, fence, hike, walk....all those things that many very overweight people do. if i were to be at the size the charts said i would be, i would be 90-120 pounds. you've seen me...can you imagine me at 120 pounds? even when i was in the best shape of my life, i was 130lbs, and running a mile 3 times a week.

in my workout program, i have lost 16# since the end of january. it's a healthy weight loss. since i'm home all day now, i see all the commercials for weight loss 'stuff'...drink mixes, pills, programs...most people are losing weight at about the same rate as i am, and yet, it's touted as a 'quick weight loss' thing. it amazes me to no end....
Apr. 2nd, 2009 01:29 pm (UTC)
My concern with BMI charts isn't that they give women unreasonable expectations. Obviously many women have come to realize that they are hopelessly wrong and just ignore them and go for healthy.

The problem is that INSURANCE COMPANIES use them when making decisions about health and life insurance coverage. If you are far enough out of the BMI range, that is grounds to deny you coverage because obesity is a major risk factor. When I started my job, I was covered under my husband's health insurance, so I didn't sign up for insurance with my company. Later, I found out I could have signed up for my company's life insurance. When we tried to get me on my company's life insurance, they turned me down because of my weight.

Now granted, even a rational BMI chart would show me in the obese range. But ... how many people are in the obese range right now based on the irrational BMI charts that are being used? How many people are being denied health & life insurance because of that?
Apr. 2nd, 2009 02:05 pm (UTC)
Obesity is only a risk factor in the eyes of insurance companies.

Unless you're exceptionally large (>390lb and < 5'6" for example) being overweight is not a risk factor for anything. Being underweight is more of a risk factor.

The diet industry has got the whole of the disease management health care industry believing that we're dying of OH NOES TEH FATTTTTT!!11!!! because it sells diet pills, diet drinks, diet foods, and so on. It's completely false and completely insane.
(no subject) - gianetta - Apr. 2nd, 2009 10:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Apr. 2nd, 2009 01:48 pm (UTC)
"When we focus on fat as "ugly", we rip the rug out from under people who do not fit an arbitrary ideal. What's the point of trying if everyone is going to call you ugly anyway? When "health" is defined as "looking thin", then everyone who is larger and still healthy cannot ever win. If you can't win, what's the use even trying?"

Not to mention, if you are an emotional eater, this attack on the ego will only cause you to turn even more to the one thing that "feels good", food. It's not so much that folks are being childish for not listening to their doctors, as it may be that they are interpreting "you have to lose weight" as "you are unworthy" and turn to the food for the happiness they cannot attain elsewhere. And not all doctors are diplomatic in the way they present their "concern". I have a friend whose doctor screamed hateful remarks at her about her weight every time she came in, until finally I said, "Why are you putting up with that? You PAY him." She found a different doctor, who was caring, and helped her lose the weight she couldn't under the previous doctor.
Apr. 2nd, 2009 02:59 pm (UTC)
Icon love. KAT!
Apr. 2nd, 2009 01:53 pm (UTC)
I really dislike the use of the BMI scale and the height-weight charts as the end all be all of health. We know they don’t take into account body composition. Especially with the BMI scale, athletes and people with a high muscle composition tend to run into the overweight category even though they might be perfectly healthy. So why do we still use them knowing their flaws? I just don’t get it. I’m going to the gym to get strong and muscular. Those charts will never be able to help me with that.

But we do need a good way to measure health indicators. That’s why I get my blood work done every year. Currently it’s one of the best indicators we have of health even though I hate having to fast and I always schedule early appointments for my physicals so I’m not stuck fasting until 10 o’clock. :) The thing there though that we have to make sure we are watching is the influence drug companies have over what’s considered “healthy” levels for things like triglycerides, LDL, and HDL. The drug industry is worth a lot of money and they have more control over those things than you might think.

People should be healthy. But there are a lot of problems facing them. For a lot of people there is so much more to loosing weight than eating less and exercising. There are emotional ties to food, weight, family, etc that all affect how we eat and what we do. And just to make things more complicated a lot of people may never know what their food issues are. I’ve learned so much about myself since getting serious about my gym time. It’s like when your fencing and you have an epiphany about something you’ve been told over and over but didn’t really get until it just hit you. I’ll be running or lifting and not really thinking about anything and “Bam!” it will just hit me.

The important thing is that we should listen to our bodies, try to eat good food, and try to get in exercise. That’s one of the reasons I really like my doctor. She’s never pushed losing weight or fitting into a chart on me but she’s always had really great info for me when I ask her about nutrition and exercise. The thing I found that I love…frozen vegis in the microwave steam packs. Sure it would be better if I steamed fresh vegis but the frozen ones are still pretty good for you and they come out great every time. I even love the steamed green beans and I always hated green beans growing up. Who knew!
Apr. 2nd, 2009 02:07 pm (UTC)
I agree on the steamed veggie thing - even *I* am slowly learning to like veggies. We got a little micro-steamer from Pampered Chef, though, as the steamer packs were too much food for just the two of us and the veggies that come not-pre-packaged-for-the-microwave are a touch cheaper.
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Apr. 2nd, 2009 02:02 pm (UTC)
And this is where I diverge from just about everyone I know. Everyone I know with whom I've discussed weight issues says, "If I were the weight the charts say I should be, I'd be sickly."

I accept that. That's clearly true for them. However, my weight falls perfectly into the weight charts. I'm 5'8" tall and the charts say I should be 126-139 lbs for my small frame. I know this is true because at 124 lbs I look and feel fragile. And at 140 lbs, I'm starting to get pudgy and not move right.

(Let's gloss over the fact that I'm currently 172.5 lbs.)

So these weight charts that everyone raves are wrong and want to make us all into emaciated models are precisely on the money for me. So it kinda irks me when people gather around the charts with pitchforks because that kinda feels like *I'm* the enemy because I'm clearly the person the charts had in mind.

And I'm getting really sick of everyone I know telling me I look fine. "You're fine. You don't need to lose weight. You look healthy!"

But I don't feel healthy. I have a little frame. 42.5 excess pounds on this frame feels like a ton. I never had knee issues when I was 130. And even though my elbows have been damaged since I was a kid, I didn't get actual pain from them until my weight got over 160.

So I know there are many of you who feel healthier at a higher weight. I'm happy that that's the case for you.

But I'm just getting tired of people telling me I shouldn't lose weight because I'm "fine" as I am. I have little stamina, my joints won't let me do the activities I like to do, and I battle fatigue constantly. I'm far from "fine". I need to get this extra 42.5 lbs off my frame before I break myself!
Apr. 2nd, 2009 02:11 pm (UTC)
Me too. What you said. All of it. I'm happiest and healthiest in the BMI chart ranges for my height, and when I'm over I don't feel healthy.
(no subject) - situveuxmoi - Apr. 2nd, 2009 02:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Apr. 2nd, 2009 02:33 pm (UTC)
Preach it sister!
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