(This bit has a metric ton of some swearing in it)
Well, fuck.
I've decided the Lyrica is not worth the aggravation the side-effects cause. I've given it every chance, and I was so hopeful for it, but it's not living up to its end of the bargain. I am unable to lose weight, dry-mouthed, dry-skinned, hungry constantly, irritated, and now it's starting to fuck with my brain chemistry, and I'm starting to feel the same level of depression I got on the Ultram, except now I'm fat and depressed, instead of nauseated and depressed.
Fuuuuuuuuuuck.
I'm giving up on anything except the damn coedine - at least with that, the brain-fucking is minimal, the side-effects are minimal, and the pain goes away for a bit. I don't want anything else playing silly buggers with my sanity, and can I just put it out there that I AM NOT FUCKING DEPRESSED, WOULD EVERY DOCTOR I SEE STOP TRYING TO PUT ME ON ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, PLEASE?!!!!!!!!.
SON OF A BITCH, THAT PISSES ME OFF SOMETHING AWFUL.
No, don't even dare put something in the comments about how anti-depressants help with some kinds of pain - they may help some people, but they have the opposite effect on me, because my serotonin levels are working properly. I have been depressed, and I know when it's the medication fucking with me, and when it's my brain fucking with me, and my brain and I have been on excellent terms since I was in my mid-twenties. I sympathize deeply with people that are depressed, but I'm not one of them.
Why, oh WHY do the doctors I see keep trying to put me on anti-depressants? I get it all the time - not all unidentifiable pain is depression-related, and you know what works the best? The rather expensive (but not as expensive as the fucking Lyrica - OMG) anti-inflammatory medicated sticky patches I stick on my arms. They don't solve it, but they work better than anything else, and oh, BLOODY HELL AND DAMNATION, I wanted the Lyrica to work, I wanted it to work so much.
(Emotional about face!)
I am very, very ready for Spring - I loves me some pretty, pretty flowers. On the other hand, I could use an extra month or so to work on stuff - I keep adding to my list. I do rather need to get to work on some of that list, but I have been doing such fun things as buying a new truck, buying flooring for the house, and generally "stimulating the economy" (I believe that's the current euphemism for "spending money like water"). When we weren't out buying big-ticket items (it's a really nice used F-150, btw), I was curled up on the sofa drawing samples for embroidery.
So, I'm getting some things done, but they weren't on the list, except in a rather abstract way.
And that's what you get for the moment. I'll take some pictures of the stuff I bought over the weekend and show you this evening.
Oh, except for book plug:
cleolinda 's book Cut! Movies in 15 Minutes arrived on my doorstep Friday, and it is screamingly funny. Y'all really, really should buy it.
Well, fuck.
I've decided the Lyrica is not worth the aggravation the side-effects cause. I've given it every chance, and I was so hopeful for it, but it's not living up to its end of the bargain. I am unable to lose weight, dry-mouthed, dry-skinned, hungry constantly, irritated, and now it's starting to fuck with my brain chemistry, and I'm starting to feel the same level of depression I got on the Ultram, except now I'm fat and depressed, instead of nauseated and depressed.
Fuuuuuuuuuuck.
I'm giving up on anything except the damn coedine - at least with that, the brain-fucking is minimal, the side-effects are minimal, and the pain goes away for a bit. I don't want anything else playing silly buggers with my sanity, and can I just put it out there that I AM NOT FUCKING DEPRESSED, WOULD EVERY DOCTOR I SEE STOP TRYING TO PUT ME ON ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, PLEASE?!!!!!!!!.
SON OF A BITCH, THAT PISSES ME OFF SOMETHING AWFUL.
No, don't even dare put something in the comments about how anti-depressants help with some kinds of pain - they may help some people, but they have the opposite effect on me, because my serotonin levels are working properly. I have been depressed, and I know when it's the medication fucking with me, and when it's my brain fucking with me, and my brain and I have been on excellent terms since I was in my mid-twenties. I sympathize deeply with people that are depressed, but I'm not one of them.
Why, oh WHY do the doctors I see keep trying to put me on anti-depressants? I get it all the time - not all unidentifiable pain is depression-related, and you know what works the best? The rather expensive (but not as expensive as the fucking Lyrica - OMG) anti-inflammatory medicated sticky patches I stick on my arms. They don't solve it, but they work better than anything else, and oh, BLOODY HELL AND DAMNATION, I wanted the Lyrica to work, I wanted it to work so much.
(Emotional about face!)
I am very, very ready for Spring - I loves me some pretty, pretty flowers. On the other hand, I could use an extra month or so to work on stuff - I keep adding to my list. I do rather need to get to work on some of that list, but I have been doing such fun things as buying a new truck, buying flooring for the house, and generally "stimulating the economy" (I believe that's the current euphemism for "spending money like water"). When we weren't out buying big-ticket items (it's a really nice used F-150, btw), I was curled up on the sofa drawing samples for embroidery.
So, I'm getting some things done, but they weren't on the list, except in a rather abstract way.
And that's what you get for the moment. I'll take some pictures of the stuff I bought over the weekend and show you this evening.
Oh, except for book plug:
cleolinda 's book Cut! Movies in 15 Minutes arrived on my doorstep Friday, and it is screamingly funny. Y'all really, really should buy it.
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Comments
I do know that all the scrips they've thrown at me so far seem to have done nothing useful. I've a referral on my dresser for another headshrinker but I get tired of it.
Prescriptions for brain medicine seem to be darts thrown at a dart board in the dark - they might as well pull out the beak masks and leeches. Still, sometimes they get it right and it's really worth it, at least for my friends.
I'm a fan of cognitive therapy for the little d stuff, because it gives the person immediate tools to work with, rather than hoping this drug or that drug will dull negative emotional response. But honestly, dart-board is all it really is. :(
Sad fact... when they started advertising anti-d's on television, in women's magazines, etc, the number of women diagnosed with depression related issues jumped. There are quite a few women who will enter the office and tell the doctor what is "wrong" with them, and demand to be treated for it. Sometimes, it's easier (I'm not saying Moral or right) for the doc to give in. I've been in on some of those conversations between patients and doctors where the patient is self-diagnosing... they usually go very badly when the doctor tells the patient, "I really don't think that's your problem. I will not treat you for this." Much yelling and screaming and crying ensues. The doc explains. The patient contradicts. The doc still refuses. The patient leaves and goes and finds someone who will diagnose them with the flavor-of-the-week.
But I do offer you my sincere appreciation for you knowing your own body so well. Most don't.
My issues aren't depression-related, but feminine, so we tried a pelvic ultrasound most recently. Nothing found (which is both good and bad), but I'd pass on that too, if you're ever offered...
I know this lot are in the anti-epileptic class, which is why I was willing to give them a try, but they aren't working. :(
Sometimes Western medicine is so fricking controlled by the pharmaceutical industry... It's hard to find a Dr. willing to think on their own.
I hear you about being ready for Spring. It was 70 in Raleigh this weekend and I loved every minute of it. :)
There are mystery bulbs popping up in my yard. We bought the house at the end of last summer, so I'm very excited to see what actually grows in it!
(stupid f'ing medicine and un-curable pain! I had hoped the Lyrica might work. Back to massage and codeine?)
Spring glorious Spring, we sat outside and read yesterday while the pup sniffed and ran all over the backyard for an hour or more.
I'm seeing my Dr. on the 27th - we'll talk then. :)
Sorry the Lyrica didn't work for you. It has worked wonders for me. I only need the vicodin and soma once or twice a day. At this point, three years on, I'm not sure what I'd do if my arm stopped tingling.