attack_laurel (attack_laurel) wrote,

You might want to get that looked at...

It's goofy random thoughts day!


Yesterday, driving home, I saw a truck with a pair of TruckNutz[TMthoughgodknowswhy]. Now, I'm not really a fan of the things, mainly because testicles are something that I'm not used to seeing except in the most intimate of situations (and in the International Male catalogue, but that's different). In public, they're usually discreetly covered (except in the International Male catalogue, but that's different - and they're mostly covered even there)...

(Man, that catalogue is some soft porn. Nice clothes, though

...and so, not something you see every day.

Not to mention, aren't guys usually into gender-typing their cars as female?

(Yeah, okay, that brings up the whole creepy "female as subordinate possession", thing, but I think there's also a certain amount of "I call this car a she because I really don't know what makes her tick" going on as well. Anyway, we're not discussing gender privilege today.)

(Much to everyone's relief, I imagine.)

But anyway - the TruckNutz[TM. also, ick]. There they were, on the truck ahead of me, swinging impudently in the breeze. Fine, you want to put testicles on your car, to show how manly you are. But these ones were green.

Now, no matter where you come from, or what you think of such manly displays, green testicles are usually a sign that something is terribly, terribly wrong, amirite? Even if you have a green truck. Blue TruckNutz might be funny, but green usually means you've got a nasty case of something.

...Or a problem with creeping moss, in which case you might want to give your hygiene rituals a quick once-over for any steps you've missed.

Whatever's wrong, you might not want to advertise it, though any potential dates are probably quite grateful for the heads-up.

Simply put, there are some occasions where matching your accessories might be inadvisable.

On to other random thoughts!

It's always fun watching TV with Bob - we tend to make a running commentary on whatever's on (uh, something our friends might want to keep in mind if they want to watch TV with us), and (of course) advertising gets the brunt of it. Such as the phone ad featuring the couple who have had 11 bulldogs named Steve over the past 38 years.

Bob did a quick calculation, and said "That means they've had one bulldog every 3.45 (okay, I did that on the calculator, but he got it roughly right) years. The average bulldog lives 8 to 10 years. What are they doing to those bulldogs?!".

We came up with:

1. Keep one big pack, all named Steve, and rotate them to confuse guests ("wasn't your dog a lot friendlier the last time I visited? He hardly seems to know me at all").

2. Tendency to misplace dogs under sofa cushions.

3. Instead of 7 dog years per human year, dog years are 20 per in their house, due to unfortunate experiments with homemade Large Hadron Collider in garage.

4. Ate them.

5. Bulldogs got bored, said "fuck it", and left.

Whatever the cause, I'm sure PETA is keeping them under surveillance.

The other ad was for Air Tran Airways - who have quite a sense of humour, as in the case of the pilot on our plane coming back from Plimoth, who said "In the case of a water landing, your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device, which you probably won't remember as you scream and panic, unless you were smart and paid attention to the safety lecture".
There's an ad they have that has a company saving money by shipping its people to conferences in boxes, and most of them arrive safely, if somewhat bounced around.  But one of them is missing - and it cuts to the one person's box falling off the back of a truck.  Then a truck/car hits it. 

Bob said "thank God for packing peanuts. Mind you, if the packing peanuts are those edible kind, he's got in-flight snacks".

- I told Bob the starch-based peanuts were edible once, and he ate one (I've never eaten one, but I have bitten a bunch.  It's a very satisfying sensation). They're kind of like really tasteless cheese puffs.

I get way too many packages filled with those nasty foam peanuts - I'd much rather companies used shredded newspaper, which I can recycle. I used to keep the peanuts, but I gave up - they were taking over my studio. The starch ones I can compost, but the foam ones suck.

Companies, take note. I don't need any more static in my life, kthxbai.

I... I can't get the green TruckNutz out of my mind.  Hopefully now, neither can you.

ETA:  There is actually a Wikipedia entry on them:

Swing, swing swing.
Tags: advertising, humour, random, silly

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