Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

So, I'm sitting here with a bunch of hairdye all over me.

(Not like that you filthy, filthy little monkeys.)

I'm dyeing my hair in preparation for dancing tomorrow, and our local Barony's annual bardic circle (Lochmere) on Saturday.  I have given up all pretense of dressing in period for the bardic, and am going as a pre-Raphaelite wood nymph, in my green velvet cotehardie, and a bunch of seasonal greenery in my hair.

Yup.  I have sunk low.  It'll be pretty, though.I promise to make Bob take pictures.

Speaking of sinking low, the Lyrica has kicked my butt diet-wise, so I have been trying out various diet pills, seeing which one can work against the all-powerful urge to eat everything in sight the Lyrica produces.

(I'm serious.  Bob is afraid to sleep in the same bed as me in case I start dreaming about BBQ Brisket.)

Now, I'm not expecting miracles from a diet pill - all I ask is that it kill my appetite, maybe shed some water, and not turn me into a neurotic wreck.  That whole "burns fat while you eat!" thing is bullshit, and all anyone can really expect from a diet pill is an appetite suppressant, maybe a little diuretic action, and hope it doesn't induce a massive case of the jitters.

Unfortunately, the first two I tried did nothing - if anything, my appetite increased.  I couldn't stop eating, and I was constantly hungry.

I am never constantly hungry.

I can now tell you that you can stay away from Xenadrine and some Swedish-sounding junk that has an umlaut or two in the name and claims to burn fat (wait... it's around here somewhere... ah.  Aka(umaut)var.  "fastest, easiest weight loss ever", my expanding ass).

But today, I tried SlimQuick. 


Ah, sweet, sweet pill, how thou dost fulfill my needs!  No jitters, and I haven't been hungry all day.  Bliss.  I'd take it right now just for the freedom from being hungry - but if it can get rid of the extra seven pounds that puts me over my max allowable weight, and maybe takes off six more or so that I'm in the middle of my desired range, I'll be ecstatic. 

Oop, timer just went off.  Time to get in the shower.  Toodles.


Dec. 11th, 2008 11:22 pm (UTC)
I never claimed to be anything but a massive hypocrite when it comes to weight issues. It's part of why I write so eloquently about it - I am caught in the middle.

Besides, I hate being hungry. And eating wasn't cutting it.
Dec. 12th, 2008 01:44 am (UTC)
Rice cakes, carrot sticks, celery,.. there are a lot of foods that will fill you up without putting on weight.
Dec. 12th, 2008 01:58 am (UTC)
There's a difference between eating and being HUNGRY.

Lately I've been fighting with the overpowering need to graze, and feeling like I'm staving to death, when I know I am not. Fluff food doesn't help.
Dec. 12th, 2008 03:32 pm (UTC)
Unfortunately, you're not getting it - this hunger is medically induced, like the commenter above said about being on steroids. The point is that al those foods don't fill me up, no matter how much I eat of them. One of the side effects of the Lyrica is the need to eat, even when my stomach is full, which is why weight gain is one of the effects of being medicated. I need to control that.

And anyway, what does trying to control a medical side effect have to do with supporting fat acceptance and self esteem? I can take something to prevent a medically induced hunger and still cringe and get angry every time one of my favourite TV shows makes mean fun of Ruby, the star of the eponymous reality show who is allowing the world to watch he struggle with losing weight and all the issues associated with being super-obese.

I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt with your first comment, since text is so hard to read tone, but apparently you are sitting in judgement of me and giving the exact same clueless advice that all people who think weight control is as simple as eating the low-calorie foods and excercising.

It's not, and so many factors go into wight control that it is extremely hard for people to deal with, which is why I write so many posts about food and weight issues - beause I'm right there on the front lines, expereincing the issues with everyone else. Believe me, if it were as simple as eating rice cakes and carrot sticks, I wouldn't be taking diet pills.

Be careful how you comment next - this is not a forum where you get to bash me, this is my journal. If you feel that you can no longer in good conscience read my diary because I'm such a hypocrite, then so be it.
Dec. 12th, 2008 04:35 pm (UTC)
*loves the Laurel*

I wish I could pin my binge eating on something other than fluctuating hormones and a lifetime of comfort food consumption. I have struggled with various diets and have thought about using some sort of appetite suppressant. In my case, however, I get the feeling that my issue is more of a mental block (like, I have a block on *stopping* myself from eating that has nothing to do with being hungry or not). I am not "big", so most people think I am a nutter for even being worried about my weight at all.

Then again, when you can put away a whole pint of Ben and Jerry's and a bag of salt and vinegar chips in one sitting *without batting an eye*, you know you have a problem of some sort.

So far my muscle mass and exercise routines have kept me at a pretty even weight for years - but as I age I see the scale tipping in a direction that I am not happy with.

Best of luck to you in your own quest - at the end of a long, hard day it really is every person for themselves when facing down the Food Monster.

*says the girl who is currently confronted with an ENTIRE office full of food...friggin' holiday parties...*
Dec. 12th, 2008 05:29 pm (UTC)
I ran from our office party - I had things to do. I made it out of there without eating anything.

Hormones rule my life now that I'm off BC - I have times of the month normally when I'm mildly hungry all the time, and my resistance is low - but the Lyrica seems to have tipped it to an extreme.

You're right, people don't understand why someone who isn't obese would worry about weight, but one of te things I am really set on is all women understanding that *all* women struggle with weight and image issues. It's deeply ingrained in our culture, and we often seem to turn on each other, because it's easier to hate the "skinny bitches" tha it is to change the lookist culture we live in (supported by both men *and* women - I see people like Janice Dickinson hating on the fat people and I am disgusted by her ugliness).

I don't normally have to deal with this - and for three months, all the normal routes have ot worked. I can eat celery (I *like* celery) until I throw up from the sheer mass of celery in my stomach, and I'll still be hungry. It's like the Lyrica shuts off the "full" sensor in my brain. I need to tweak that shit. :)
Dec. 12th, 2008 04:39 pm (UTC)
I'm not bashing you. My comment was a suggestion-nothing more. Having dealt with medically induced hunger on a personal basis, over many years, I have much empathy- just sharing what helped me, not a lot- but it helped.
Over the years I have fought the battle of genetics, nature, the tyranny of hunger, and hormones- leptin esp, and lost. So now I don't diet and my weight is stable- but not what I would like as I am obese. Due to my history I am exceedingly sensitive to fat issues/diet issues and find that most people just don't get it.

On the front lines with you.
Dec. 12th, 2008 05:17 pm (UTC)
Well, okay then. :)
Dec. 14th, 2008 08:37 pm (UTC)
rice cakes
Very true that they'll fill your stomach, but if you have issues with hypoglycemia, none of those things are sufficient. I almost never have hunger pangs in my *stomach*, but I have some crazy symptoms in my head (dizziness, irrational belligerence, headaches) if I go too long without eating something of substance (i.e., protein or fat).
Dec. 15th, 2008 04:05 am (UTC)
Personally, I think you're lucky if rice cakes, carrots, and/or celery actually make you feel full. I swear, I can eat those till my jaws fall off and still not fill me up, never mind feel satisfied.
Dec. 15th, 2008 10:49 am (UTC)
I like the chocolate-dipped ones, but those kind of miss the point. :)

I really *do* like celery - even without peanut butter or dip - but it isn't exactly food, you're right. I prefer to get my fiber from a pear, but then you're back to the whole sugar thing. *sigh*
Dec. 15th, 2008 03:02 pm (UTC)
And I love apples but it's the weirdest thing-- I swear they make me feel hungier. Talk about an appetizer. If I needed jaw exercise I'd be all set.

Latest Month

April 2017


Powered by LiveJournal.com