?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Stretched

Holy cow - you know how when you're chewing gum, and you stretch it out and out and out and it gets thinner and stringier, and finally snaps?

Or maybe you have good manners and don't do that sort of thing.  Which reminds me of my first husband, who taught me how to make bubbles with my chewing gum and snap them in my mouth, then yelled at me for practising it.    

Anyway.

That's how I feel today - stretched thin (though you wouldn't know it to look at me - I'm retaining water like a party balloon ready for a summertime street fight) and ready to snap.  I'm battling a massive project at work that keeps throwing out new heads like an overachieving hydra and I'd better stop with the metaphors now before someone arrests me for metaphoricide.  But it is being a little (big) bitch, and I'm in paiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin.  Nothing new, eh?

Well, the red hot knitting needles stabbing my upper arms are new, but par for the course.  

This following free-association, therefore, is brought to you by one too many painkillers.

Do you believe in the concept of a King and Queen?  Is this a large part of the game for you?  It is for me.

I'm old-fashioned, I suppose; I really believe in things like paying duty to the Crown, whomever they may be.  I've seen Kings and Queens come and go, and if there's one thing I've learned from the experience, it's that if people decide they don't need to pay respect to a Crown because they don't care for the person sitting on the throne, then it's the next King and Queen that suffer.  The choice to withdraw support is entirely up to the individual, but the long-lasting consequences of that choice come as newer people see the apathy towards the Crowns and assume that all Crowns must be treated that way.

They will then go on to teach yet newer people that the Crowns don't matter.  An extreme view?  I've seen it happen.  When we teach disrespect for the idea of the Crown, then we lose a vital and really magical part of our game.  We contribute to the early burnout of people who really want to make things special, and work themselves into the ground trying to do so.  Worse, we often give them a hard time because they're no-one special, and they shouldn't get big ideas about stuff just because they're on the throne, right?  And while you're at it,  gimme that award, or I'll tell everyone you kick kittens.

I often wonder why people who seem to feel no urge to participate in the trappings of the game we have set up play at all.  If they don't like the idea of making the Crowns (and their representatives) special, resent the bowing and respect, and tell everyone around them that it's all nothing important, what does the SCA offer?  A chance to ruin the experience for other people?  An opportunity to hurt people's feelings?  

... I also wonder what they're smoking that makes them think they should get all kinds of cookies from someone for whom they express utter disregard, like they're owed something special for merely playing.  I consider this sometimes when I hear someone completely trashing the Laurels as useless, selfish, self-aggrandizing bastards who keep honest artisans down for the sheer fun of seeing them suffer, then hear them whining that they don't have their Laurel yet.  Why would you want stuff so bad from someone/thing you so clearly despise?

I *want* things to be different from the real world when I'm playing - it's why I joined this nerdy little group of idiots (I include me in that statement, don't kill me) who profess to like something so terminally uncool as dressing up on weekends and playing at Lords and Ladies.  I am very frustrated by people who are so determined to bring the modern world with them that they cannot and will not play at being the subjects of a King and Queen, even though the SCA is centered around that concept.  We're not meant to be playing equals - that's part of the fun.

...isn't it?  If it's not fun, why the hell would we stay?

There's nothing demeaning about bowing to the Crowns - you are respecting the concept they represent.  When the day is over, the King goes back to being Joe Accountant, and the Queen goes back to being Suzy Real Estate Agent.  The magic only lasts while everyone is at the event, and surely that's a short enough time that we can drop our democratic (well, socialistic, in my case) roots and play at being something else?

I am further amused when these selfsame sneerers are elevated, and start demanding all sorts of special treatment because they are now special.  My head whirls sometimes at the astounding disconnect between the words and actions of some people, and how people create huge drama over molehills that wouldn't trip a fieldmouse.  I am enraged, though, when people use those dramas to hurt other people.  No matter how earth-shattering the crisis, trampling roughshod over all and sundry isn't cool.

I think some of the answers to this lie in the ideals we playact in our game - take the high road, act with grace, be more courteous, more honourable, more chivalric, and simply more than we are in our real life.  The SCA should be a safe place for trying out those virtues - after all, no-one will take away your job or your birthday, so the stakes aren't life-altering, no matter how hard people try to make it seem so.  

I've been pretty badly hurt by some of the stuff that's been done to me over the years in this game, but I am still standing strong - and you know, I'm pretty sure I can't throw a 20 pound cat (oof!) without getting hairballs all over ten people who have also been badly hurt.  It seems sometimes like we use this hobby as a platform for doing as much emotional damage as we can to the largest number of people, but we don't really - it's just that we keep forgetting what drew us here in the first place.

Okay, okay, the clothes and the hitting of the people with sticks was pretty attractive too, but it's the ideals that make a lot of us stay.  And putting those into practice when we've been hurt the worst is hard, but pays off in such a huge way in the long run.  Some of the greatest moments of grace I've witnessed have been from people who could have chosen to behave badly, but chose instead to live up to their ideals.  The people I repsect the most in the SCA are those who have put those ideals into action, and tried to teach them to others.

God, how did I get from respecting the Crowns to this?  Clearly, my brain is a bit stretched, too.  *snap!*

Anyway.  I believe in the concept of the Crowns, no matter who wears them - it's what's kept me heavily active in this silly game for twenty years.  I may never get to be a queen myself, but I can appreciate the ones we have, because their presence makes the game so much more fun to play.  It's no skin off my nose to bow to anyone - not because I don't have principles, but because my principles can see beyond any particular reign, and see the possibilities of what's coming next. I firmly believe that scorning any particular Crown only really hurts the people who come next, and devalues the game for everyone. 

Heck, it's only six months, anyway.  In that respect, we simple Lords and Ladies have a bit of an advantage over our historic counterparts.

Not to mention the smell

Comments

( 74 brains — Leave a chunk of brain! )
Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>
isenglass
Jan. 29th, 2008 04:23 pm (UTC)
You said it better than I would have. Vivat!
attack_laurel
Jan. 29th, 2008 04:32 pm (UTC)
I've been following your excursion through the virtues and vices with great interest... :)
(no subject) - isenglass - Jan. 29th, 2008 05:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
mistressrhi
Jan. 29th, 2008 04:31 pm (UTC)
"who taught me how to make bubbles with my chewing gum and snap them in my mouth"

Ah, one of my favorite habits! And yes, it bugs the crap outta anybody around me... But I do it anyway! ;-)
ciorstan
Jan. 29th, 2008 05:09 pm (UTC)
One of the things I take fiendish delight in after I got my braces off is that my teeth have perfect little spaces exactly suited for blowing tiny little bubbles through... I sound like a miniature machine gun going off. I can do it fairly quickly.

Drives my husband insane. He never learned how to blow bubbles, the poor culturally deprived child.
maricelt
Jan. 29th, 2008 04:32 pm (UTC)
so, what you're saying
is that the Crowns are like Fairies.
I just realized that....
::Clapping::
I believe in the concept of the Crowns
::Clapping::

Sorry, also on the pain today, had to cave to the silly.
ciorstan
Jan. 29th, 2008 05:10 pm (UTC)
Re: so, what you're saying
Word.
Re: so, what you're saying - ladypyrate - Jan. 29th, 2008 06:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
taisiia
Jan. 29th, 2008 04:33 pm (UTC)
Do you mind if I link to this in my journal?

attack_laurel
Jan. 29th, 2008 04:50 pm (UTC)
Feel free; all my posts are public. :) Comprehensible - not always. Public - yes.
valkyr8
Jan. 29th, 2008 04:41 pm (UTC)
Well said indeed!
quodscripsi
Jan. 29th, 2008 04:41 pm (UTC)
But what if the crowns are just pathetic looking pieces of brass and they are dressed like something that should only be used as scrap cloth for medieval people to whipe their asses with?
attack_laurel
Jan. 29th, 2008 04:52 pm (UTC)
Close your eyes and pretend. It doesn't matter what the people are underneath; they cahnge. The Crown is one of the integral parts of the game; an aorta, if you will, while the people are the blood moving through, always changing.

(no subject) - quodscripsi - Jan. 29th, 2008 05:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - murasakinoyoroi - Jan. 29th, 2008 06:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - quodscripsi - Jan. 29th, 2008 09:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jljonsn - Jan. 29th, 2008 07:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - quodscripsi - Jan. 29th, 2008 09:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
reasdream
Jan. 29th, 2008 04:43 pm (UTC)
Interesting read. I read the first sentence, then had to deal with something else and was thinking to myself "I believe in the concept of the Crowns, but how much I buy into it varies from reign to reign." Which is still how I feel.

But reading your post made me realise that, regardless of how I feel, I still bow to the crowns and show "due deference". I just may make more jokes during one reign than another, or curtsey a little lower. But then, I'm a (medieval) Scot, and we've never been very good at respecting our monarchs absoultely and unquestioningly ;) (James III, for example...)
vom_schwarzwald
Jan. 29th, 2008 04:50 pm (UTC)
"Do you believe in the concept of a King and Queen? Is this a large part of the game for you? "

Damn Skippy I do! What I do or don't think on a personal level about the people wearing the crowns NEVER enters the equation for me. You respect the crowns, period. You show that respect, period. Don't like the concept, then guess what, you don't *get* what it is we are doing, so *get* thee to another hobby. Participation in the SCA is NOT mandatory, so if you don't like it, MOVE ALONG.

GAAAHHH! That topic always steams me up!

Good post!
reasdream
Jan. 29th, 2008 05:21 pm (UTC)
Do you sometimes find you are respecting the Crown, but not the person wearing it?

I have very strong opinions on the Burden of the Crown (and the burden of "leadership/power" in general - elected officials serve the people who elected them, etc). The Duties of the Crown are part of what makes it worthy of respect to me. But there seem to be some people who wear the crowns and miss that aspect of their role completely.

How do you deal with that? (honest question, not trying to pick you apart or anything)
(no subject) - vom_schwarzwald - Jan. 29th, 2008 05:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lorebubeck - Jan. 29th, 2008 07:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - vom_schwarzwald - Jan. 29th, 2008 08:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - elasait - Jan. 29th, 2008 11:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - vom_schwarzwald - Jan. 30th, 2008 02:45 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - elasait - Jan. 30th, 2008 03:08 am (UTC) - Expand
isabelladangelo
Jan. 29th, 2008 04:53 pm (UTC)
But I iz a speshul snowflake! Really, I iz! Can't u see? Don't pay attenshun 2 the peeple dat haz been playin since be4 I waz born. Pay attenshun to meeeeeeeee!


Okay, serious hat time:

I did some other living history before I joined the SCA. I always bowed/curtesied a bit (okay, sloppily but hey, I do something that forces my head to bob up and down!) when even passing the royal thrones even if they were/are empty. It makes me feel odd because I rarely see anyone else doing it. I know what the "rules" are and I know, in some cases, it was ignorance...but i do know in other cases it was the "Oh no! Not him! I don't like him!"

I'm slowly trying my hardest not to fall into the "Well if A and B don't like him, I don't think I will either!" because I've met some people in the SCA that I was told were just "ugh" and found out I really like them. (Please ignore my run on sentance structure. I am going on enough triglicerides right now to kill an elephant twice over. Want to see me hyper? Give me bacon.) I'm not a super social person, at first. I'm an observer and then, after a half hour or so, I talk everyone to death with pointless almost non-sensical questions and really random observations (Why does the Queen of X have a nose ring?).

Should people try to get past the "I don't like him/her!"'s? Yes, but we see this even in modern politics. People disresepct the office someone holds because they don't like the person. It doesn't matter which side of the political dice you are on, it happens in all sides and levels of politics. Hopefully, all anyone can do is be more concensus of it.

Silly/normal hat back on:
But I'm speshul and everyone else jus got their awards cuz they r kiss ups and aren't really good at what they do. C? Look at my period reshurch on macarronni Viking necklaces!
(Deleted comment)
landverhuizer
Jan. 29th, 2008 06:50 pm (UTC)
thoughts on supporting them, haven't thought of it quite that way, interesting... it makes sense
(Deleted comment)
stitchwhich
Jan. 29th, 2008 05:22 pm (UTC)
Well now. You know I'm going to say I don't play the same game you do. :)

I believe in the early Welsh/Irish/Norse concept of the Crown - First amoung Equals. It is the model that most appeals to me, perhaps because when we do have Monarchs who play that way everyone wins so much greater than when we have Royals who are playing it a different way.

In my game, such as it is, I find no joy in rewarding arrogance with deference. Having said that, my feeling in that case is that they have dishonored their station, not that their station is unimportant. (Does that make sense?) This is why being in the Great Dark Horde is a comfort to me - our Khan is always First Amoung Equals, as Ghengis or Kublai was, and I can still participate in the organisation. Without that, thanks to personal history, I doubt I'd still be in the SCA. And truly, I am more dedicated to the SCA than I am to any one indivdual Kingdom - although Atlantia is, of course, still the best one to live in. :)
reasdream
Jan. 29th, 2008 07:36 pm (UTC)
"I believe in the early Welsh/Irish/Norse concept of the Crown - First amoung Equals."

Oooh. So that's where the Highlanders and North/West Scots Lords got it from. I knew it was a tendency of theirs ("Yes, yes, that's a very nice hat and we know all the foreign types like to talk to you, but honestly we're not going to do what you say without some serious reasons!") but had not realized the lineage of the attitude.

*grin*
(no subject) - attack_laurel - Jan. 30th, 2008 11:07 am (UTC) - Expand
gottasing
Jan. 29th, 2008 05:28 pm (UTC)
I have to thank you (and perhaps your pain meds?) for some of your recent posts. I have been going through a case of burnout and your words have really resonated with me, reminding me of the many reasons I started playing in the first place. I too believe in the Crowns, if not always the people wearing them at a particular moment, and I am a person who, although often irreverent, does things like bow to the empty thrones when I pass. Because it adds to the game. Sometimes when the final blow at Crown Tourney is struck some of us will look at each other and say "I wonder what's happening in the West for the next 6 months?", but I never really mean it. You have finally articulated why-because it doesn't hurt the current Crown as much as the next. That's not fair, and it doesn't make the game any more fun for anyone.

I hope you feel better soon, and I wish I could be half so insightful even when not in pain.
victoriapringle
Jan. 29th, 2008 05:46 pm (UTC)
Here is my request for a part 2 post - The difference between respecting the Crown and respecting who is wearing it.

I always try to show respect to the Crown, bowing etc., heck I'm one of those people who gets funny looks for paying respect to the empty thrones but to me respecting the person wearing the Crown is a whole different matter.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - firenzekat - Jan. 30th, 2008 02:04 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - victoriapringle - Jan. 30th, 2008 02:17 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - firenzekat - Jan. 30th, 2008 02:43 am (UTC) - Expand
chargirlgenius
Jan. 29th, 2008 06:04 pm (UTC)
Timely post; I've been struggling with some of these ideas of late. Part of the problem for me is that I can't really play as much as I'd like to. Much as I hate doing it, the SCA has become more of an on-line game than a real game for me. That bites. I hate how I see my cynicism creeping in and screwing things up for the shiny parts that I'm supposed to see.

As for the Crowns themselves... When it comes to all titles, Lords and Ladies, Kings and Queens, within the context of the game, all of it is alive. But get outside of the game, on email, LJ, armour archive, etc., we're all a bunch of goobs typing on keyboards. I'm irked when people expect a game-level amount of deference when on-line. It's particularly stupid, IMHO, on the Armour Archive which is not just an SCA board.

And then when people start throwing their titles around in money decisions, I get even more irked.

I end up just always irked. Grrr. I can has some codeine too?

Back to crowns. I think there are ways to play where you can largely ignore them if you want to, but then you have to ignore the other trappings and not demand them for yourselves. Play with your friends, do what you like, don't go to court if you're going to just sit up front and fart as loud as you can. But as you say, you can't ignore them AND expect something from them at the same time.
landverhuizer
Jan. 29th, 2008 06:15 pm (UTC)
Been starting to use my real name a lot more on lists... griet isn't talking, I'm talking and it is business or real life gabbing (with some relation to the game). I'll include the sca name, will still try to be nice but try to keep the trappings in the game.

(no subject) - lady_guenievre - Jan. 29th, 2008 07:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - attack_laurel - Jan. 30th, 2008 11:13 am (UTC) - Expand
landverhuizer
Jan. 29th, 2008 06:09 pm (UTC)
Keeping up appearances...
even in real world situations, or even historically speaking, but sometimes for different reasons.
Hard for us to see when in a moment of passion, which have seen far too often, but there are other ways to deal than making bad show.
attack_laurel
Jan. 30th, 2008 11:14 am (UTC)
Yes. Well put. :)
parlor_games
Jan. 29th, 2008 06:25 pm (UTC)
"It's no skin off my nose to bow to anyone - not because I don't have principles, but because my principles can see beyond any particular reign...."

Gawds, thank you for this. As a former Queen, it really chaps my hide to see people selectively honoring the Crown. There is a line of honor - albeit stretched thinly here and there - that connects every Crown, and part of my joy in the SCA is encouraging people to see past the immediate...garnering long-term blessings, truly.
scratchel
Jan. 29th, 2008 06:57 pm (UTC)
"There is a line of honor - albeit stretched thinly here and there - that connects every Crown..."

Well put! I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who may not care for us as individuals (and by us I mean me and S, not you, because we all LOVE you...) but it makes me sad when people ignore the Thrones just because they don't like the butts that are filling them.
gianetta
Jan. 29th, 2008 06:36 pm (UTC)
crowns
After following a queen around at events for 6 months, I respect the amount of time, money, and effort that our royalty give us - they work their butts off. It was drilled into us that members of the Academie serve their Queen (not that they don't also serve the King), and that it's our duty to protect and adore her. I've found the vast majority of Atlantia's queens to be fabulous. The rest are ones I didn't see much of because we weren't active at the time.

I've gone out of my way to attend inconvenient events just because of who is reigning (e.g., I'd been waiting for Valharic to win Atlantia's crown since the first time I saw him in one of our courts as Atlantia's warlord). I've also thought, 'Eh, If given a choice, I'd rather not pretend that I respect WhatsHisName, and I'm not going to be disrespectful at an event - I can find something equally amusing elsewhere this weekend.' and skipped events that weren't important to me. I wouldn't ditch an event solely because of who is reigning. I know a fair number of people who have taken breaks during certain reigns, and I think that's a reasonable solution if you absolutely can't stomach who is on the throne at the moment.
attack_laurel
Jan. 30th, 2008 11:16 am (UTC)
Re: crowns
A delicate absence is a perfectly fine way of dealing - it bothers me when people make a big deal about *why* they're not attending, becuase it seems rude - and discreetly disappearing when it is appropriate won't bother anyone. :)
duchessmel
Jan. 29th, 2008 07:05 pm (UTC)
Thank you for this post. You are, as always, a Fount of Wisdom.

I've been in the SCA since rocks were soft and stew was haute cuisine. I've seen a lot of Crowns come and go. I've enjoyed wonderful reigns and lived through some less wonderful ones. I've agreed with some and disagreed with others. I hope I've always shown due respect in public, even when I've felt colossally DISrespected back. I try to deal with it all by finding other ways to spend my weekends when I just can't bring myself to support what I see as choices bad for the Kingdom or its people.

I DON'T bow to furniture.

The BlueDuke used to say that it's the Crown's job to make sure everybody else has a good time, not everybody else's job to make sure the Crown has a good time. In other words, the Crown is perpetually the host; they bear responsibility for meeting the needs of the Kingdom and the people. I find it much easier to respect the Crown when the people wearing it feel that way. But courtesy is the raison d'etre for the whole shebang, as far as I'm concerned; I don't understand people who choose this game and then decline to play by its rules.
havorc
Jan. 29th, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC)
Mel, you rock!

Reading this post from both sides of the situation is wonderfully introspective...

Mary-Grace believed that being the Crowns of a Kingdom is a job; just as Seneshal and MOL is a job. The job of a Monarch is not like others which make sure things run according to rules, regulations or policies (though all Monarchs have their voices in those)

The job as a Monarch is to try to do your best to, "make them believe". As is written in the crowns of a certain Kingdom, "You rule because they believe". You are there to help them believe in the dream; the trappings, the ceremony, the possibilities, the wonderment of someone realizing that someone has seen what they have been doing for years and give them the appropriate regalia for that effort all is part of this.

You know you have had a good reign not if people are bowing or scraping... people will do what people will do...

We knew we had a good reign when people found us months or years later and stated that no matter how much time has passed, you will always be considered "King" or "Queen" to them...

That is humbling...

We've had the opportunity to serve in this position thrice now... and I hope we still are helping people believe...

Havorc
(no subject) - reasdream - Jan. 29th, 2008 08:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - vom_schwarzwald - Jan. 29th, 2008 08:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - duchesspadr - Jan. 30th, 2008 01:19 am (UTC) - Expand
pirategirleee
Jan. 29th, 2008 07:11 pm (UTC)
Two thoughts / statements on the crown topic:

1) I have often found people who show disdain openly towards the crown or who is wearing the crown usually do so because they are (sometimes secretly) jealous they themselves are not wearing it.

2) Yes I will admit there are a few "repeat offenders," (I say that as a joke...meaning they've sat on the throne more than a few times) that I am not completely thrilled about. I can be honest about that. But I still bow and show respect because of what was taught to me regarding the crowns. "The people who wear the crowns of Atlantia are the figure head of the moment, but the crowns are the embodiment of what the concept of King and Queen are....the person wearing the crown is representing the crown and always deserves respect." I wish I could remember who told me this...but it was many years ago.
amykb
Jan. 29th, 2008 07:24 pm (UTC)
I am a Hordesman, and like stitchwhich, am much more of the first among equals school. There are many historical precedents for it.

That said, I will *always* show respect for the crown, and for the people wearing them, whether I like them or not, IN THE GAME. There are cases though, where they are operating as an officer of the society, and in that case, things change. I try to make it very clear when I am speaking to them in or out of game...outside of garb, talking about a mundane issue that effects the game, I try to address them by their mundane name to make it clear that there is a separation. Olwyn may be listed as an officer of a Shire or Barony, but Amy is the person doing the job. It is Amy, not the mythical pretend Olwyn, that is responsible for seeing that the job is done, done right, and within the legal boundaries set by the job description or governing documents. Where I tend to run into problems is when people blur or are confused about these lines.

As a Peer, it is my responsibility to advise their Majesties --and that includes telling them when I think they are doing a good job as well as when I think the metal is poisoning their brain, but as a member of the society, it is my responsibility to tell Joe Stick-jock, who is holding the office of King of Tippiecanoe, that the decision he is making is a violation of Corpora in that the documents say whatever they say, and what he wants to do is in opposition to that.

It gets tough sometimes. But I think it is a responsibility that we have. We need to work both sides of the fence.

(I hope that made sense--pain pills and a babbling 5 yr old make my brain melt)
jljonsn
Jan. 29th, 2008 07:27 pm (UTC)
You don’t have to respect the person to respect the position.
jljonsn
Jan. 29th, 2008 07:31 pm (UTC)
Oh - and if it's in the rules of the game, then you do it.
(no subject) - duchesspadr - Jan. 30th, 2008 01:22 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - attack_laurel - Jan. 30th, 2008 11:20 am (UTC) - Expand
otherwind
Jan. 29th, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC)
It is strange to me how many people on this list mention "getting funny looks for bowing to the thrones." That is exactly the opposite of my experience--maybe it's just who I hang out with, but it's only when I forget that I get looked askance at.

Why are people looking around at who is looking at them when they bow anyway?

Almost all the complaints about attitude on this thread seem to me to boil down to buried patterns of resentful entitement and insecurity. I think we just have to embrace that there is a much higher quotient of that in the SCA population (even among high achievers--and I'm including myself in that) than there is in the general population. Or maybe it's not higher, just that we SCA folks feel somehow more comfortable letting it show.

I'm not sure what the solution is, modeling maybe, consciousness raising like this perhaps, but what pushes my buttons is an us-them dichotomy that places a certian group of social mis-fits in the unacceptable category rather than seeing us all as a community operating along a spectrum of social norms.

It's not a fun game for me to complain about others making it not a fun game. It is a fun game when I focus on what makes it wonderful.
otherwind
Jan. 29th, 2008 07:42 pm (UTC)
And by "including myself"--I meant that I see high achievers like myself and other laurels, for example, as having many of the same issues around insecurity and proving ourselves that get so looked down upon in fringies and the SCA "lower classes." We just express them in more ssocially adaptive ways.
(no subject) - parlor_games - Jan. 29th, 2008 08:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
dorinda2212
Jan. 29th, 2008 09:05 pm (UTC)
Note to self: Be more courteous. But, does that mean I can't run around yelling drunkenly anymore?
attack_laurel
Jan. 30th, 2008 11:21 am (UTC)
Sure you can - just not during court. 8)
(no subject) - dorinda2212 - Jan. 30th, 2008 03:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
grian_ruadh
Jan. 29th, 2008 11:31 pm (UTC)
I was brought up to always show respect to the hats even if I have no regard whatsoever for the hatracks. The Crown and what it represents is important to us and one of the foundations of our game. Regrettably, some people confuse the respect we are obliged to give the position with automatically required respect for the people sitting on the thrones. If I am absolutely sure I do not want my respect for the position to be mistaken for respect for the people, I will either stay well away from court or skip the event. I've skipped entire reigns before (in one case three in a row... it was a very "special" time in An Tir). I was even given my grant by a Crown I have no particular love for, but I didn't spit on their shoes in the process, and I accepted the award in deference to all the people who thought well enough of me to recommend me for it. No matter how one feels about the Crown personally, I think it nothing less than gross tackiness and political showboating to refuse anything below a surprise Peerage in the middle of court.
isabelladangelo
Jan. 30th, 2008 01:15 am (UTC)
Sorta a side note but thought it might be valid
I saw my horoscope for today and it actually touches on a couple of points you've made today (as well as in the past). It's probably fairly decent advice for when you get anything that you either a)haven't stolen or b)cheated for. I'm a Taurus btw...probably explains why I'm so bullheaded...::hides::

Someone in your social circle has a chip on their shoulder, and they feel like they deserve something that you have. It's reality check time -- you earned what you have fair and square, so do not go on the guilt trip they have all planned out for you! If you take their jealousy seriously, you'll be validating their claims. Tell them you are sorry they feel that way, but they are completely capable of getting to where you are, and you are ready to help them.
Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>
( 74 brains — Leave a chunk of brain! )

Latest Month

April 2017
S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30      

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com